If You Don't Pay Attention
by TheFanFictionAlchemist
Summary: kurofai. multichap fic . AU. Kurogane was confused. Since he'met Fai, his life was out of his contol. And more bizarrely, he didn't seem to mind it.
1. Prolouge: When Exactly?

Prologue: When exactly…?

**Disclaimer: **I'm not Clamp.

**Author's note:** please review. Brutally, if necessary. If it reads like a textbook, tell me. If it is so wonderfully written, that it changed your life, tell me if it is mediocre, tell me. Thank you.

Fai was busily leaning over the stove, spatula in hand, cooking breakfast. He had been appalled, upon moving in with his boyfriend, to learn the sort of things the man ate. His staple diet was: things that came out of the microwave. Fai had thus insisted that his Kurorin was to have "one meal home cooked with love" per day. And since Fai's job at the bar was nights, and Kurogane's security work was days, that meal was often breakfast.

He flipped the omelet he was making for Kurotan, and then turned to the bacon in the pan adjacent to it. Fai began to hum a Russian folk song in his head, silently mouthing the words in his native language. It was one from his childhood.

There was a sudden bang, as the bedroom door was slammed open, pulling Fai from his quiet memory. He turned and a grin graced his angelic features at the sight he met. There was Kurogane, clothed only in a towel, red faced in anger, and brandishing what seemed to be a bar of soap in a threatening manner.

Kurogane growled, feral and low.

"What the hell did you do to the soap, you moron?"

Fai very nearly giggled at that, and at how absolutely unthreatening his puppy was.

"I'm sorry" he said, confused.

"The soap, the soap!" Kurogane insisted.

"Is there something wrong with the soap, Kurochan?"

Kurogane looked exasperated.

"My soap _isn't _purple, and it dose not smell like this! It's white, and doesn't smell like anything!"

"Oh!" Fai exclaimed, "You mean that vile, mushy bar of soap that used to be I the shower? I threw that away. Kuropon, it was a germ trap."

"You threw away my soap?" Kurogane said, in disbelief.

"Yes, it was disgusting."

"_This _soap is disgusting! It smells horrible!"

"Kurowanko, it smells like lavender. Lavender is a nice smell." He said this as if he were teaching a particularly young child.

"I cannot go to work, smelling like this. I'm a security guard at Piffle Designs Inc; I need to be respectable, _scary._ I can't go in smelling like a goddamned _flower." _

Fai gave him a look of mock concern.

"Is someone going to be close enough to Kuromyu to smell him? Oh, Kurorun, I can't believe you would do that to me!" he gave a false sniffle. "Here I thought that my Puppy loved me, and he's cheating on me!"

"STOP, being a moron, idiot. And do not change the subject this is about soap! _My _soap, and why it has suddenly been replaced with _your_ soap."

Fai sighed.

"Breakfast is done, whenever you feel like dressing for it. If the soap is that important, I'll buy some more at the market, today. _Un_scented."

Kurogane had the vague idea that Fai was testing him by giving in so soon. Some times he got so sick of this. Fai, ever insecure that the man who had put up with him a year would suddenly run away.

One year, Kurogane thought as he reentered the room, when the hell had that happened? How had that happened? When he had met Fai, he had been looking far a good time, not a serious relationship. Not a year, with no end in sight.

He mused upon this as he pulled clothes from the dresser. Fai had simply been a new bartender at his favorite bar, near work. A very sexy new bartender, who had always made it a point to flirt with him. Thus when he had offered his number, with the suggestion that they catch a movie sometime, Kurogane had accepted.

But it had been the first date from hell. He should have ended it then. But that fist date from hell was followed, swiftly, by a second, a third, and a fifteenth. For some inscrutable reason, the thought of ending things with Fai was appalling to his very nature. He was drawn to him, the man who hid himself so well, the man who had no past, the man with the false smiles. Fai was a mystery, one he couldn't help but want to solve.

So he had continued to let the wild whirlwind that was dating Fai D. Fluorite sweep him along. Until one day he had woken up to boxes in his living room, frilly lace curtains, and foreign pillows in his couch. He then recalled that, somehow or other, he had invited Fai to live with him, and these were his things. And all of Kurogane's things were sorted, and critiqued, and rearranged. Hell, his life was rearranged, rearranged so that it could accommodate Fai.

And then this morning he had woken up to the soap. The guy was seriously threatening his masculinity with that floral soap.

When the hell had a whole year passed? He'd been cheated! Kurogane wanted it back! Wanted to know how this had gone on for a year. And wanted to know why he was fine with the fact it had.

Because he was, still, fine with all of it really. Fine with rearranging his life to fit Fai in it. Fine with the pillows and the soap (well, _maybe not_ he soap). Because, he figured in the end, he had it pretty good. He had Fai.

Kurogane went back out into the kitchen. Fai was picking at his food, and had a place neatly set for Kurogane.

"OI" he said, pulling out the chair roughly.

Fai looked up at him, face flawlessly false, eyes dark.

That idiot was brooding, and Kurogane would not take it.

"Do you actually think, that I'd put up with you a year, if I didn't want to? Imbecile. If I wanted to leave, I would have left sometime after we spent our fist date at kids' movie. I'm not going anywhere. So quit it with the stupid tests." He said gruffly.

"What tests, Kuropi?" Fai said sweetly.

" The one you just gave me." It was a sort of unspoken deal, that Fai's past was a taboo subject. But Kurogane had to wonder, what had done this to Fai? Made him distrust _everyone _so acutely. He'd find out, someday. But, for now, it wasn't appropriate breakfast conversation. So he took a bite of food and frowned, slightly. It was good, not sweet, like all Fai's other crap.

"'S good." He muttered.

Fai brightened.

"Well, I made it special for Kurokoi."

"Che" was the only response.

Kurogane really wasn't sure when he'd missed the memo he was involved in a serious relationship. He was left wonder, 'when did _this _happen?' not that he really minded.


	2. Chapter 1: The First Date From Hell!

**Chapter2: The First Date From Hell!**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Spot the random crossover anyone?

**DISCLAIMER: **NOT MINE !!

The guy had leaned over and whispered directly into Kurogane's ear.

" My number is on the paper. Fai, by the way. Since you seem to like hitting on me so much, I thought we could go catch a movie sometime. Hmm?"

With that, a slip of paper had been inserted into his hand, and the gorgeous bartender had walked off. He did, however, take the time to turn his head back and wink.

Ever since this new guy had started working, he had been playing little games with Kurogane. Flirting and letting his fingers trail on his arm. Giving him winks and sexy smiles. His intent was absolutely clear. And Kurogane was enjoying it. And now, he had Fai's number. He was quite pleased with the turn of events.

Until…

"Sorry, that's sold out." The board looking teen with acne stated. He had hair as red as his uniform, and a face that said, 'I get paid seven bucks an hour, why the hell do I care, huh?'

"Is anything _not_ sold out?" Kurogane growled.

It had been his third try at picking a movie they were all sold out. He had to marvel, why was he gets a date with a hot guy and the movies are all sold out.

"We still have seats available in… hmm… 'Father and Dog'" the kid declared, after checking the computer.

The blond next to Kurogane fluttered excitedly; as if that was the movie he had wanted to see all along.

"Oh lets go to that one, Kurorin!" he squealed.

Kurogane did a double take. Had the guy just…

"Buy the tickets, Kuromin" Fai commanded. He grinned falsely from ear to ear, like a mental ward escapee.

" MY NAME IS KUROGANE!! And that's a _kids' movie_!" Kurogane exploded.

"Oh... but my names are much cuter…"Fai said.

What had he just thought about mental ward escapees?

Kurogane bought the tickets, only to stop the guys whining and buttering of his name. His only thought now was; GET THROUGHT THIS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. The guy acted total different outside the bar, psychotic, being perhaps the word?

They made their way inside, and passed a couple of kids leaving the theater. They seemed maybe, twelve years old? The one, a blonde girl, was talking about the film they had just seen.

"How fascinating. In the whole film, the mother never once appeared." She mused.

"Well it was called 'Father and Dog'," the strangely dressed boy muttered back, "I can't believe how boring that was…"

Oh god. A couple of kids, one of whom had hated this _kids' movie. _Kurogane knew this was going to be a long, long afternoon.

"Lets Buy Popcorn!!" the manic idiot screamed.

Where was the quiet, sexy guy from the bar? Who the hell was this? Where in the hell had he escaped from? Seriously, Kurogane was going to google area mental hospitals for breakouts when he got home.

The line for concessions was ridiculously long, and they were, of course, behind some kid telling a story to his barely listening mother. It involved dinosaurs, sand, and some other kid called Jake. After several agonizing minutes of listening to that (agonizing for _Kurogane_, Fai said it was cute.), they had reached the counter. Which was when Kurogane learned that 'Let's buy popcorn' meant 'Buy me popcorn.' In Fai speak, that is. 'Buy me Eight-dollar-for-a-medium popcorn, with a Four-dollar-a-small soda, and a Three-dollar-box-of-snow-caps', more specifically.

They made there way into the theater. Kurogane prepared for the worst.

118 minutes latter…

Worst. Movie. Ever.

The theater had been packed with shrieking, running, screaming, drooling, crying, and generally noisy rug rats. Within one minute of the film starting, some kid had started bawling that he wanted his 'Buby-Boo NOW!' The lovely, unsupervised children in the row behind them had decided to have a popcorn fight. And Fai was oblivious to all of this, completely absorbed in the movie. The movie literally about _nothing_, but a man and a dog.

Worst. Companion. Ever.

Worst. Date. Ever.

This, Kurogane, decided, had been the date from _Hell._

"Wasn't that movie so touching?" Fai asked him.

Kurogane looked at the blond in the passenger seat of his car. Kurogane had the windows down, so the wind played in Fai's silky blond air. He looked like a fashion model, without even trying to. His sapphire eyes glinted in the sunlight. He was utterly gorgeous. Now why not a _personality_ to match?

"Sucked" was all Kurogane would say. It was rated PG. So, no swearing, violence, sex, or explosions, in other words nothing good. Damn near two hours of a guy with his son and dog.

"Hyuuu " Fai responded. "Kuro-puppy needs to get in touch with his feminine side!"

"First off, my name is KUROGANE, you HALFWIT! Second, I don't have a feminine side." He had exploded. All the anger at being called weird names, seeing that awful movie, and having kids throw popcorn in _hair,_ boiled over. "Third, that was the worst date ever, and I never ever want to see your ugly demented face again as long as I live, you psychopath!"

Fai grinned, and there was some thing extremely artificial about it. Kurogane was starting to notice the guy never ever smiled, not authentically. He ignored Fai the rest of the drive. They reached the apartment complex Fai lived in. Kurogane pulled his car up to the curb.

"Get out!" he snarled, very dangerous at the moment. His brow furrowed and his eyes shown with repressed furry. "And never speak to me again."

This was a hassle. He'd need to find a new bar. Better than seeing this fool again.

His faces did nothing to deter Fai.

"I don't think you mean that." He said, playfully.

Then, damn it, he did it! He leaned across the car, and kissed Kurogane full on the lips. And, much to his surprised chagrin, Kurogane found himself kissing _back_.

What. The. Hell.

Had he lost his own mind? Was this monstrosity rubbing off on him? Oh, god forbid that _ever_ happen!

Fai pulled away first, his dazzling face too close for Kurogane to think straight.

"You've still got my number, and you know where I work. Call any time. I'm off Thursday nights, by the way."

With that, Fai opened the door, and left, grinning, typically.

And so the first date from hell that contained the first kiss from heaven, was soon followed by another, and another, and soon, an invitation to move into Kurogane's apartment.

Yeah. This relationship had_ completely _snuck up on him.


	3. Chapter 2: Giggle, Kuropon

**_GIGGLE_…KUROPON…CHOCOLATE ICE-CREAM…**

(…Or why we keep Fai away from Vodka…)

**DISCLAIMER:** Still only one of me, and four of Clamp. Also not Brittney Spears, dear god, _don't _say I am!!

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** This one is for StalkingAShadow. Darling, of course I intended to get Fai drunk out of his skull! Really, what kind of Fai Fangirl would I be otherwise! Your review merely prompted me to do it sooner. And if anyone else has any ideas for thing these two can do together (mind _out_ of the gutter, mind you), then tell me. This does have an eventual plot, but as long as your ideas fit into it …

So here goes, I present…drunken Big Kitty!!

Fai was one damned, obnoxious drunk.

This train wreck of a relationship that Kurogane seemed to be trapped in had gone on _a month_. And tonight, Fai had invited him to bar, (not the he worked at).

So Kurogane thought he could say with some authority, that Fai was one obnoxious drunk.

He would cling to Kurogane's arm. And poke his cheek. And he found _everything_ to be funny. And he had a bizarre tendency to meow at the end of his sentences. Oh, and yeah…

He flirted with everything.

Man.

Woman.

Potted plant.

Didn't matter. Didn't matter most people ignored him. Didn't matter he was only interested in the men. Didn't matter that many of the women he hit on where _extremely _interested, but he was so...err flamboyant; he probably had no idea of what to do with a girl. No, if it was alive, and within ten feet, he'd flirt with it.

Kurogane wasn't sure why he found that so troublesome. Why did he care? He didn't even like the guy. Well, not much. (A nagging corner of his brain questioned him, if you don't like him, why _have_ you dated him a month? Shut up, brain!) But for some reason, he felt really…jealous… that was the word for it. And he was being very overprotective of Fai.

And Fai was ignoring him half the time and paying too much attention the other half. Fai was the most horrible drunk he had ever been around.

And the Bar…

…why didn't anyone mention to Kurogane that this was a _karaoke_ bar?

Oh, that right, because Fai picked this place. And he would never, ever ask his date's opinion on where they went. No, he just simply would drag Kurogane wherever his heart led him. Curse Fai's demented heart.

Fai had, thus, been oh-so-eagerly awaiting the moment that the bar would announce the beginning of karaoke. It had yet to happen, and Fai had drunk quite a lot of alcohol. So much, he was having trouble remembering the number. So Kurogane was hoping, _really hoping, _that he would forget the idea, due to his drunkenness. No such luck.

Kurogane wanted to curse the guy who suddenly appeared with a microphone to an imminent, slow and painful death. Maybe involving clowns, he didn't lie clowns…Especially when he announced they were taking volunteers for the fist song of the night.

Fai squealed excitedly, "oh, Kuro-chaaaan! I want to sing!"

Kurogane stared at Fai a moment. The imbecile grinned at him, face flush, sipping that weird, bright blue cocktail. Kurogane thought the thing looked radioactive.

"Your, drunk" he declared, a fact blatant to anyone nearby.

"I am not, Kuro-silly!" Fai sang at him.

"Fine, do what you want, I won't stop you."

With that Fai pranced off happily, to make an ass of himself.

When it was Fai's turn to sing, he took his time choosing a song. A good _five minutes _that is. When he was finally satisfied, he turned to the crowed. He apparently decided to try and be sexy. He unbuttoned the top few buttons on his shirt, showing off some of his milky-whit skin. He winked. This ruined the effect, since winking threw off his balance, causing him to stumble.

Some laughter at a nearby table pulled Kurogane's focus from Fai a moment. A group of women sat there. They where all watching Fai, and talking noisily

"…got to wonder. He seems like he might be gay…"

"Sexy, thought, really gorgeous…"

"Wonder if he's single…?"

On stage, Fai caught sight of Kurogane, and waved vehemently.

Kurogane was sorely tempted to walk over to the girls and say 'take him, he's yours.'

Suddenly…

"KURO-MYUUUU" Fai bellowed, "Nyah!! Come sing with me!"

Kurogane ignored him. No way in hell.

"KURO-KOI, meow."

Not listening, pretending not to see the stares. Even if half the people didn't speak any Japanese, they still got the point from the inflection in Fai's voice. (For that matter, Kurogane often wondered why Fai, a Russian by birth, living in America, spoke Japanese.)

"KURO-KINKY…!"

He had not just shrieked that across a crowded bar had he? God, there was not much more Fai could do to…

"Come on. KURO-SEME" he cried impatiently.

He took it back. There was a lot more that _Fai_ could do. Kurogane literally saw red a moment. He had to stop himself from killing Fai on the spot.

Kurogane weighed his options.

Sit there, and continue to be stared at by people, as Fai yelled stranger and stranger, often-suggestive names, for the whole room to hear.

Go up on stage, get more stares, but hopefully stop Fai from yelling anything… personal.

Reluctantly, he decided option two was the less embarrassing.

Kurogane was actually slightly impressed by the song choice. Drunken Fai had better taste than sober Fai. A sad testament to Fai's abhorrent tastes. Kurogane mumbled along. That seemed to be enough to please Fai, thought, since he didn't complain. Fai on the other hand, was making some very loud, off-key sounds that closely resembled words, and soon decided to dance.

This is actually a bad idea when you're so drunk that _winking _makes you dizzy.

"…Adictedta'youdownchanotha' yer Toooooooxic…" and with that, the first chorus, Fai's feet tangled with some wire and he fell, giggling the whole way down. He was passed out.

Of curse, there were more stares, as Kurogane slung the unconscious moron over his shoulder. He carried the man out, and into the parking lot.

It is rather difficult, he reflected latter, to open a door, with an unconscious idiot over your shoulder. And equally as hard to get said moron into his seat with on help at all. And damn it, that guy snored _loud_, for the whole ride, too.

They reached Fat's building. After more wrestling with Fai's sleeping form, Kurogane got him back out of the car. The stairs were hell. Stupid idiot, with his stupid old apartment complex without elevators!

Then the door was locked, so Kurogane had to dig in Fai's pants pocket for the keys. Now, to open the door…

He finally_, finally_ got in, and carried Fai into his room. He wanted to drop him hard on the, bed, hoping it would wake him up. But for some reason, Kurogane found himself putting the Guy down gently. And after words, ha scolded himself for letting his hand linger on Fai's arm. Why should he care if that idiot was comfortable? This wasn't going to last that long, in any case. Why get attached? He turned to leave.

"Kuro-rintaaa…" Fai mumbled. Kurogane was afraid he had woken him a moment. Until he noticed Fai's eyes were closed. Sleep-talking.

Which meant he was _dreaming about Kurogane._

Kurogane was still trying to digest this, when Fai mumbled a bit more:

Grin, "…Kuro-chu….he he he…" giggle, "mmmm… Kuro-pon….chocolate ice-cream …"

That was too bizarre. What could he be dreaming that involved Kurogane and ice cream? (No…he would not be going there…all right, brain?)

Kurogane hurriedly left Fai's apartment, promising himself this was defiantly the _last_ date they would be going on.


	4. Chapter3: NOT At All Jealous!

**NOT At All Jealous…**

**DISCLAIMER:** Let's count, _shall _we…?

I am one (1) American girl.

Clamp, is four (4) Japanese women.

See the problem?

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Than you, to all my readers. (Head still spinning that she _has _readers) I present the next chapter, in which we will meet YUKO!! Been dying to write her, so glad I finally can. Other than Fai, (yay! Someone said Fai) she is my Favorite TCR/XXXHolic character.

**WARNING: **Besides the usual shonen-ai, F is in here a couple times.

He was tired, that was it. He'd been at work all day and he was tired. And it had slipped his mind. Really it had. Because he would not do something like this on purpose, _ever._ Don't say he would.

Because, even if he had accepted that, for some reason, he wasn't going to end things with the blond anytime soon, he would not do this. No, he was Kurogane, and Kurogane did not visit anyone at work.

Never had, never would.

He had simply been too tired, and forgot that this was the bar Fai worked at.

Only reason he had come.

He had been surprised when Fai hadn't jumped him the second he walked in. He had _seen_ Kurogane, right? I mean he went to all the trouble of coming to see Fai, and he was just going to ignore…

Kurogane berated himself for those thoughts. He had NOT come to visit Fai. He could care less what the bastard did with himself. Kurogane didn't like the guy much at all. He had only been dating him for the last _three-and-a-half months _for the sex. (This was Kurogane's latest 'I am not in a relationship, ok?' denial technique)

Lets start over, shall we?

He had been very, very ecstatically happy that Fai had not jumped him when he entered the bar. That sounded better.

That was when he recalled a facet of Fai's personality that he had nearly forgotten. There were two of him. Work Fai, and normal Fai. And work Fai was quiet, subdued, calm, taciturn…all the things normal Fai wasn't. Work Fai was the version that Kurogane had first been attracted to. And work Fai did not jump people.

Kurogane sat down at the bar. He watched Fai finish what he had been doing, then rush over to him.

"Hyuuu did my Kuro-Koi come to visit me at work? How sweet! I'll sure to reward him latter, for being such a good doggy. "He winked. "Maybe we could get some chocolate ice-cream again…" he giggled, letting the sentence trail off. "Usual?"

Kurogane ignored his previous comments.

"Sake" he said.

Fai scampered away to get it. Kurogane watched him leave. Just because work Fai didn't jump people, did not make him less annoying.

Fai put the glass down in front of Kurogane.

"Sorry, Kuro-chu, can't stay, other customers. You're more than welcome to keep staring at my _ass_, though." With that, Fai darted forward to plant a kiss on Kurogane's cheek.

"I was _not _staring at you ass!" he fumed.

"Whatever you say, Kuro-wanwan." Fai giggled, the walked off.

Kurogane mumbled darkly under his breath. He stared into his glass, and was vaguely aware that someone sat down on the stool next to him.

"You're Fai's latest, then? Has a real thing for the strong, silent, sexy type."

Kurogane looked up, to glare at whomever had made this comment. The oddest woman he'd seen in his life met his eyes. She had two, piercing eyes herself and just stared back. Her ebony hair was cut into layers. Her face was round, and her eyes slanted slightly. She appeared Japanese, and had an accent to match. In her arms was cradled a black cat, purring lightly, as his fur was stroked.

"Usually don't last this long, hmmm, Moko-chan?"

Kurogane was baffled a moment. Who was 'Moko-chan'? That was when he realized that the nut job was talking to the _cat. _

Since she was defiantly Japanese, Kurogane decide to try something.

"Fuck off" he said in the language.

"Oh, thought so. Japanese, huh? I don't think that Fai-chan would like you saying that at all, _Kuro-chi_." She answered in it.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST CALL ME?" he roared.

" Temper, temper." The woman chided him, "I don't think your little lover would like that either, right Moko-chan?"

Kurogane clenched his hand into a fist. His what…?

"How the hell do you claim to know any of this? Are you a stalker?"

" My, my. Just going off information Fai gives me. I work with him, so to speak."

"Well its wrong. We are not lovers"

She paused, and looked at something across the room.

"Well, I'd start paying some attention to my not-lover, if I was you."

He followed her gaze. There was Fai. And there was some tall, dark haired guy. And the tall, dark haired guy's hand was on Fai's arm. And Fai was leaning over the counter toward him. And the whole scene was way too intimate. Kurogane growled.

"Jealous much? I'd get over there if I was you." The woman told him.

Oh, believe him, he would be going over there.

He strode over to the pair.

"…so the guy says, 'You see that fence, I built that fence with me own two hand and the sweat off me back, but do the call me O'Brien the fence builder? No they don't" the tall dark haired guy was in the middle of a bad joke, and Fai was hanging onto his every word, smiling fakely. "But you fu…"

"Can I help you?" Kurogane snarled.

The tall dark haired guy almost jumped out of his skin at the sight of the angry Kurogane. Coward.

Fai's smile didn't miss a beat.

"Oh, Kuro-pu! Mark here was just telling me a funny joke!" Fai said in faked exuberance. "Do go on Mark, I want to here the punch line."

"No, Don't go on. Go away." Kurogane said to the offending worm called Mark. "We need to talk, now." He added for Fai.

This was ridiculous; it wasn't like when Fai was drunk, and thus, not thinking straight. No he had all his wits and was flirting knowingly. Once the worm was gone, Kurogane turned his attention on Fai.

"What are you doing."

"Just flirting, Kuro-tan, doesn't mean a thing! You're soo cute when you're jealous."

Idiot was not changing the subject. "We've been together three months, it means something, Fai."

"Well you're in denial, about our relationship. Stop pretending we aren't together and maybe I'll commit. Kuro-wanko is just overprotective. Loosen up" he laughed hollowly.

"Overprotective…? Your one to talk. Your so damned Fake."

"What do you mean fake? I'm always sincere." With that Fai smiled insincerely.

"No you aren't. You're lying now. You aren't happy, but you pretend to be. Who the hell are you, really? You never mention family. You speak Japanese, for some reason, even though you're Russian. What are you hiding?"

Fai stiffened, and his smile disappeared. He stared at Kurogane with dead eyes.

"I think we need to drop the subject, _Kurogane._ I have to work, now."

"Whatever." Why did Kurogane care, if Fai wanted to be a phony.

But he did care.

He took that to be a challenge. Fai had given him a challenge. He didn't want to let Kurogane into his past, so Kurogane would have to force his way in. He would do that, too. He would find out why Fai was the way he was. He promised that.

"Have a spat with your little not-lover?"

Kurogane glowered at the woman, who had appeared at his side again. She smiled, knowingly. The cat in her arms meowed.

" Go away. Who the FUCK are you, anyways." Kurogane demanded. He had had _quite enough _of the psychopath for a lifetime.

" Hajiwara Yuko (1)." She answered, nonchalantly.

Yuko… the owner of the place? Fai's boss? This was Fai's boss? And she had seen their fight.

Lovely.

Kurogane got up to walk out, last time he was ever going to visit Fai at work.

(1) Got the last name off fan translations, online, since I don't own the manga. Seems wrong though. Anyone know how to spell it ?

Look, folks, spelling in thes early chapters is crap! Sorry


	5. Chapter 4: Too Much, Or Not Enough?

**Too Much, Or Not Enough**

**DISCLAIMER:** This is getting old… I'm not Clamp.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Finally here, the next chap. Had a few offers by Betas, too. I just want to take a moment to thank every one of my darling readers for the warm reception. Did not expect it. Only been a member about eight days, and I've been favorited, and reviewed and critiqued and complemented. And, I have regular readers! People like my writing, YAY! Ridiculously grateful dears, can't say how much! But I digress… here is the fic. And the end of the too long author's note no one reads anyway.

Shit.

He had messed up. Big time. He hadn't realized at the time the little argument was such a big deal. But three days had passed, and he had called Fai…well he had lost track how many times. And Fai had yet to call him back.

So here he was, feeling just a bit stalker-ish as he used his lunch break to call Fai, again.

Ahhh…voicemail.

" Hello all, you've reached the amazing Fai D. Fluorite, must be busy right now. Sorry. Well, talk at the beep." Fai's cheerful voice commanded. "Unless you're Kurogane-san, in that case, stop calling me. I'm not calling back."

Like hell he'd stop calling. He wanted to know why Fai had overreacted like this.

"Not going to work, moron. I want to know why you freaked so badly, and now you won't talk to me? Just call me, all right? I don't want things to end when I don't ever understand _why._ Please, just call, or I'll come looking for you."

OK. That sounded very stalker-ish. But he was _very_ upset by this. Fai had abruptly broken all contact, over a little fight like that one. No reasons, no contact. So he was going to break another promise to himself. Kurogane was going to meet Fai at work.

It was later that night, after work, when Kurogane got there. He scanned the bar for Fai. It was Tuesday, he worked Tuesdays, and Kurogane knew that. But he didn't see the skinny blond anywhere in the place.

"He said you might show up." A voice purred in his ear.

Kurogane turned, and saw that woman from the other night, Yuko. She was still clutching that black feline, and wearing a smug grin. He growled there was something about her he did not trust.

"He also told me to give you a message if you did. He says that if you keep trying to contact him, he's getting a restraining order."

"What are you talking about? Why isn't he here? He works today."

"It's simple. He doesn't want to see you. He changed around his hours." She paused a moment. " I disagree with him, though"

"What?" Kurogane asked.

" I said I disagree. He normally doesn't stay with anyone so long. Just a few weeks really, always the same guy, tall dark hair, muscular. In a way, you're nothing new."

Kurogane did not like the though of being just the next in a series of boyfriends for Fai.

"But like I said, I disagree with him. What you did the other night told him you actually give a damn. It's rather obvious, to look at you though. Moko-chan and I noticed immediately." With that she stroked the black animal in her arms. "So, I'm going to help you." She said, as if this were a major declaration.

"Don't want your help." he muttered. He had had enough of this cryptic woman who personified her cat. He started to leave. Fai wasn't there, after all.

"Oh? You should be nicer to the person with access to his schedule. Not to bright, are we."

"I can come back every night."

"I'd shut up if I were you. I might change my mind, and decide to tell him you showed, Get that restraining order. You sound a bit like a stalker" She was following him through the parking lot now, clearly showing no signs of breaking pursuit. "You can show up all you want. I can actually make him talk to you."

She had a point. He could come, but if Fai wouldn't see him…

"And I've known him longer than you have. Want to make up? Do you even know his favorite food? Movie?"

Kurogane didn't respond. He wasn't one to ask that kind of thing, and Fai didn't volunteer information.

"Didn't think so." Yuko said, wearing a smug smile.

They reached Kurogane's car, a black eighties ford mustang that he had restored himself. He turned to face her, leaning on the door.

"Why do you care?" he asked the question that had been burning in his mind.

"Because, I know about him. I know what happened to him, and what that did to him. And I know why he only ever involves himself in meaningless flings. And I know he really likes you…"

"If he likes me, why's he running?" Kurogane interrupted her.

"Something you will have to ask him directly. But really, the second I heard the number of nicknames he gives you, I knew he was attached. So I want to help. Only for his sake." She added.

"Fine."

Her eyes narrowed, and became much like the eyes of the cat in her arms.

"Now, if you want this, it will cost you. Nothings free, hmm, Moko-chan?"

-The Next Night At The Cat's Eye Bar-

"What is it, Kurogane?" Fai asked him darkly. "Yuko threatened to fire me if I didn't see you."

Kurogane didn't mince words or dance around a subject. He was blunt, so he went right to the point.

"What are you doing?" he demanded. "Why are acting like this?"

"Like what, Kurogane?"

"You suddenly stopped talking to me, you don't answer the phone. You suddenly act like we didn't have anything."

"We _didn't._ I was in it for laughs, Kurogane, for a good time. It didn't mean a thing." His face was serious. "You got to possessive. I don't like to be smothered like that."

"You're lying." Kurogane accused. "It meant something. You're a terrible liar."

"NO," Fai said, "I'm a great liar. You are just too perceptive. Another reason to end this."

"Because I see who you are, we have to end things?"

"_Yes." _Fai hissed. " You see too much. I can't let anyone see me."

"Why?"

"None of your business."

"Yes it is my business, I care about you!"

Saying it aloud put a lot into perspective, because, it _was_ true. He cared for Fai. For whatever reason, he would not lose him, and not for some stupid reason like this.

"That's exactly why I have to stop seeing you." The blond said bitterly. "Damn, we've gotten way too close. You don't want to get involved with me."

"_We've_ gotten too close? Dose that mean that you care too?"

Fai's silence was an answer in itself.

"So, because I genuinely like you, and you genuinely like me, we can't be together. Are you an imbecile? That logic in nonsense, and I think you know that."

Fai sighed. "If you actually knew me, you wouldn't say that."

"Are you afraid I care too much…or not enough?" Kurogane asked, suddenly realizing part of Fai's issue. He was afraid that Kurogane would leave him, if he got attached.

They just sat in silence, as the seconds elapsed, almost palpably between them.

Fai broke the silence.

"Why do you have to be so persistent? Why do you have to care? I'd be so much simpler if you didn't. Then I could just give you up." He had a note of defeat in his voice.

"Does that mean you' re going to continue this?" Kurogane inquired.

"I'll try, but I've never actually done that before."

"Good"


	6. Chapter 5: Dinner for Two

**Dinner for Two…**

**DISCLAIMER: **Getting tied of writing these. Still just me, I'm not Camp.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Hello all! Liked writing this one. God, Fai rambles. And Kuro-rin should leave any and all future cooking to Fai… Also I love kitties for the record, and Kuro-cruel is just mean!

Yuko had helped Kurogane with the plans because, as she had been sure to flaunt in his face, she knew Fai better than he did. And she told him so again, and again, and…

He had been having fun contemplating things to do to her cat. Not so kind things, which would turn the heads of Peta members 360 degrees. He'd never actually do them, but it sure was fun to dream.

Anyway, he had to reluctantly admit she had helped just a little bit. (A lot, in truth, but he wasn't about to say it.) If he had actual paid more attention to Fai, he reminded himself, her help wouldn't have been necessary. He wasn't making that mistake again.

So, he'd bought some expensive alcohol that she said Fai loved. A wine, he didn't really care for wine. Liquor was liquor, in his mind. It didn't need to have a complex flavor with spicy undertones, rich bouquet, and so on… it needed to get you drunk. Whatever, Fai liked it.

And he had cooked. This was something that he did not do. He _could _cook just fine. But hell, he felt that modern science had brought them lovely inventions like the microwave and the toaster oven for a reason. He had wanted to just make reservations somewhere, but that psychotic woman had insisted Fai would like much better if he cooked. Something about it being romantic, that he did something he would not normally do.

Personally, he though the world went much more smoothly when he and romance kept at least twenty feet from each other. He normally wanted nothing to do with the thing.

Oh, and did he mention that his apartment smelled nauseatingly sweet from all the candles? Well, it did. He was almost scared the place would catch fire. But once again, the cat lady had told him it was romantic. And since she was his only window into the world of things Fai might find romantic, he had been forced to listen to her.

So he had followed all her instructions. He had a bouquet of Fai's favorite flowers, lilies. He had followed her recipe for some pasta she claimed that Fai enjoyed, and that was so simple even he could not mess up. And yes, he had greatly resented that comment. He had the candles, and two bottles of that damned expensive wine. And he had set it all up the way she said. Oh and the dessert. That he had also made himself, some sickeningly sweet stuff he was sure Fai would _love._ He wanted it to be warm, so he put it into the oven just before Fai was to arrive. Things would go well, so long as he remembered to cheek on it.

There was a knock.

Kurogane brushed his bangs from his face, and smoothed his shirt, before catching himself at it. He told himself off for it, then made his way to the door.

"Hey, Kuro-wanwan!" Fai said by say of greeting. Kurogane had to admit, he looked _good, _Fai wore a soft blue button up shirt, and a pair of slightly dressy pants. His shoulder length hair was tied back with a blue ribbon, a bit feminine, but very Fai.

"Oh!" Fai said upon seeing the apartment. "Kuro-min outdid himself, this looks lovely. Of course, Kuro-sexy looks better."

He had to marvel at how quick Fai had gone back to his pretentious self. Last time they had actually spoken, they had had a serious conversation. Now, here he was, teasing and acting like none of it had ever happened.

He showed Fai to the table, where dinner was waiting. Even pulled out the chair for him, Yuko had been very insistent on that point.

"My favorite, Kuuro-chan!" Fai said spotting the bottle of red wine. "How on earth did you ever know?" At this point, Fai grinned. "And the food! I never thought you knew so much about me."

Kurogane decided he wanted to get some things said and over with before dinner. He needed to straighten out a few things with Fai.

"I just want to say this beforehand. I do care if you get angry with me and stop calling me, but not as much as I do about a few other things. And I think the thing with work was overreacting."

Fai looked slightly guilty, "I suppose so, Kuro-chi. It was a bit extreme to go and change all my hours to avoid you."

What? That was not what he was talking about! Was Fai going to play dumb about this? Oh, no, he wouldn't let him.

"Not that, dumb ass."

There was some seemingly genuine confusion on Fai's face then. "Sorry, Kuro-koi, I don't understand did I do something else?"

"What the hell? Of course you did! Threatening with a restraining order! That was just stupid, you idiot."

"Do you feel ok, puppy? What makes you think I was going to get a restraining order?"

Kurogane's eyes widened. "That lying bitch!"

"Kuro-handsome?"

"She fucking tricked me! Made me think I needed her help!"

"Who?" Fai asked calmly.

"That crazy woman, Yuko!"

Fai pondered this a moment while Kurogane fumed. Then his face widened into a smile.

"So, Yuko-san helped you to think of all this. I was a little suspicious you had help."

Kurogane gave him a sharp look,

"But I still love it, see Kuro-lover? It doesn't matter if you had help! Oh, and I'd be careful asking Yuko for help. She doesn't like to do things for free."

Really? She didn't? He cursed himself for not looking into it further before making this deal. Shit, and he couldn't think of a way to get out of his part. He had accepted the help, after all.

"Come on, don't brood on this all night! I want my dinner with Kuro-pu to be romantic. Don't ruin it." Fai tried to cheer him up. And he was right. Kurogane had put too much into this meal to destroy it with a foul mood. It had been too damn expensive for that.

So they ate. Fai talked the whole time, and Kurogane watched him. He was so animated. He poked the air with his fork, twirled his hands around, laughed, and made faces. It was kind of hypnotizing, he noticed. If you tuned out the actual words, that was.

"…then there was this knock on the door, and I just thought, who could that be, because, really there was no way that it was that person at that hour, I mean, it was like four in the morning, and you see, at that point I lived in this apartment complex called the Western Oaks, the building was owned by this sweet old lady, Ms. Mooney. She made simply the best pies, to die for! She would always make them for everyone; on Christmas she'd make mincemeat pie, I love mincemeat pies, thanks to her. Anyway, back to the story, there was this knock at the door, so I thought there was no way, just no way, you know? And then…" he had been waving his hands about entrancingly, but suddenly stopped. "I say, Kuro-sweetie, is something burning?"

Kurogane was snapped out of the spell of watching Fai by the fact he had ceased his gesticulations. He didn't even bother to scold himself this time for staring. It seemed to be a losing battle. Was that a note of question in Fai's voice?

"What did you say?"

"I said, is something burning Kur…"

An earsplitting ringing cut him of, as the smoke alarm sounded.

That stupid dessert! Kurogane had forgotten it! Shit!

What ensued, was several minutes of chaos. Forget burning, the thing was literally on fire! Kurogane had to spray a fire extinguisher into his oven. Then the smoke alarm, (which some geniuses had put on the _ceiling_, so that you had to stand on a chair to reach it) had to be dealt with. But he couldn't find a way to turn it off. There were no buttons, or anything that looked like it might end the sound.

That was when there was a barely audible knock at the door. Kurogane climbed down and pulled the door roughly open. He was met with a couple security guards, who informed him that for safety reasons Smoke alarms were wired into the building, and only security could turn them off, and only after a walk through of the area. So he was chased from his _own _apartment, as the two went in, to discover nothing more than Kurogane's abortive attempt at making dessert.

He looked at Fai sullenly. The man grinned back.

"Was Kuro-adorable trying to make dessert? You really should invest in a timer, next time!" Fai said amidst a fit of giggling.

"Shut up." Kurogane did not like to have his own oversights pointed out to him.

"Oh, don't worry, Kuro-pi! It's the thought that counts, but um, next time, I'll cook."

Yeah, the though, what about the price tag?


	7. Chapter6: How to Torture Kuropin!

**How to torture Kuro-pin!**

**DISCLAIMER:** Still not Clamp. Not ABBA either. Don't even know their songs. Copied and pasted that off the Internet.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **I might have found a Beta, dear readers! I hope you like this one. Oh and that last chapter was totally unoriginal, I know, but it was based on a true story. Except in real life it was a friend and I, and thus much less interesting since Fai was not involved. Her apartment complex's security did chase us out of the house, though.

"_Not free?" Kurogane said questioningly._

"_Well, yes. Surely I deserve some kind of payment, if I do help you." Yuko said. _

"_What do you want? I'm not paying you…"_

"_Not money, something far more valuable."_

"_What?" he pressed her._

"_I simply want you to work for me. One week, that's it."_

_He considered this a moment. It sounded too good to be true. _

"_You just want me to work for you for one week? No catch."_

"_Do you think I'm heartless?" She looked utterly scandalized by the thought. "I'm doing this because I like Fai. And for some reason, he likes you."_

_Kurogane glared at her in response._

"_So, deal?"_

"_Sure, I guess, as long as there is no fine print."_

"_Scouts honor." She said dramatically. _

"_All right," he said as he pulled open the door to the car. "Sounds fair…"_

"_So you agree?" She cut him off._

"_Yes, let me finish my damned sentences!" he roared.  
"You help me with this Fai thing, and I work in your bar a week?"_

_She nodded. He started to get into the car._

"_Just one thing, I never actually said a word about the bar."_

_With that she walked off._

Yuko's cat was the evilest, most demonic animal on the planet. That is except for Yuko's dogs.

Yes, Moro and Maru were the evilest dogs on the planet. And that woman had a sick sense of humor. The things full names were Marudashi and Morodashi. When he had asked _why _they were named this, she responded:

"Do you have any idea how fun it is to teach Americans those words, and tell them they mean something like 'sweet little puppy' in Japanese?"(1)

After that, Kurogane had stopped asking questions.

He had taken a week off work, to repay her for that night that had turned into a disaster, and all her help in it. When she had said she needed him to work for her, he had figured it meant the bar. Not dog sitting, or being her personal chauffeur. Which was exactly what he was doing.

Damn! If he had been working in the bar, at least he would have gotten to see Fai. Now, he didn't even get to go in the bar often. Yuko had her own supply of alcohol that she raided frequently.

And thus he had an explanation for why she talked to the cat.

And that cat! The only person it liked was Yuko, everyone else it would attack mercilessly. Kurogane had scratches all up and down his arms.

Not nearly as bad as the dogs! They seemed to be under the impression people could understand them. Maybe because Yuko treated them like people, in any case they barked constantly. Yuko called it talking, and scolded Kurogane for not listening to what her babies were saying.

Not to mention, the random places she wanted to be driven. She had certain items, which had to be bought certain places, most of them across town. They drove thirteen blocks to get to a pet shop that sold the cats favorite kind of treats. Passing at least two other pet shops on the way. They did the same for her brand of beer.

The week seemed like it might never end.

Three days into it they actually went to The Cat's Eye Bar. Fai was working, and smiled broadly at Kurogane. Yuko warned Fai off fraternizing with the help. It took at lot of self-control not to murder her right then.

Fai caught Kurogane's eye and winked.

No, please do not be planning something! Fai's plans tended to backfire horribly.

"Yuko-san, can't you please be kind to my poor, poor little puppy? Can't you see he's over worked?"

"Why would he ever be over worked? Not keeping him up all night, are we Fai?" Yuko asked slyly. Fai giggled.

His self-control was waning. Kurogane was now trying very hard not to kill both the idiots.

"Really, Yuko darling, you don't need him all that badly. And I'm not doing much here_. Can't_ you let us both off early, so I can spend some quality time with my puppy? He gets so cranky otherwise."

He would kill Yuko, then Fai, and it would be ever so much fun! Yes it was such a wonderful plan, only how to implement it?

Yuko's laughter brought Kurogane away of his thoughts.

"You are adorable when you beg, Fai. Manipulative bastard."

"That's me!" Fai cheerfully confirmed.

"All right, go."

"YAY! Thank you Yuko! Come on Kuro-doggy, we'll go somewhere relaxing."

A few minutes later, they left.

_"__…young and sweet, only seventeen. _

_Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine._

_You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life._

_See that girl, watch that scene…"_

This was supposed to be relaxing? They were jammed in Fai's way too small yellow Volkswagen. And Fai had turned on the radio to a random station, only to exclaim:

"I love ABBA!"

…and start to sing.

He had no taste.

"Where are we going? It's almost dark, and I want to get home at a reasonable hour." Kurogane interrupted Fai's dream of being part of ABBA.

"Don't be impatient, Kuro-cutie. It will only take a bit longer. This is one of my favorite places. And it will have to be dark."

What was he planning?

Fai drove on, and on. And he kept on singing. Kurogane was just about to demand to know where he was being taken, when Fai pulled over.

"Come on, we're here." Fai announced.

Kurogane looked around skeptically as he exited the car. They were…in the middle of nowhere.

Fai was rummaging in the trunk of the car.

"What are you doing?" Kurogane asked irritably.

"Well, I planed on asking Yuko to let me off early for this, so I packed. Hold these…"

He handed Kurogane a blanket, and several pillows.

"You planed this?"

"Yuko is so nice, I knew she would let me off if I asked." He extracted a cooler from the trunk. "And she let me take a few cases of beer, too." He proudly declared.

"Yes, Yuko always so nice." Kurogane answered sarcastically.

"I know, I don't understand it, but a lot of people don't like her. Isn't that odd?"

Oh, the great mysteries of life! People dislike _Yuko._

Fai led them through a patch of trees on the side of the road. Much to Kurogane's chagrin, he insisted they hold hands. It was dark, Fai insisted. Kurogane was not about to admit that it was.

They came upon a huge empty field.

"Here we are."

Kurogane looked up and saw millions of stars, all visible. It was dazzling.

"We're out of the city, so the lights don't blot them out." Fai told him.

A few minutes latter they were lying on the blanket, staring into the starry sky. Fai's head was resting on Kurogane's shoulder, and his hand was pointing out the various constellations.

"There, right there. That's Ursa Minor, the little bear. And the big one, Ursa Major." His delicate fingers swept across the sky, tracing the images.

Kurogane was watching Fai's face, not the sky. Fai was much more interesting than some imaginary pictures. He would pause to think every so often, and bite his lip cutely. Then he would smile, and his eyes would sparkle when he recalled the name of some particular star.

"How come you know this stuff?" Kurogane finally said.

"Oh, when I was a kid, I wanted to grow up and be a famous astronomer. There was someone I used to watch the stars with. Someone important."

A sad nostalgic look crossed Fai's face when he said that. And Kurogane realized that this was the first time that Fai had volunteered information about himself. And he looked absolutely heartbroken.

"But now, I can watch the stars with Kuro-chu." He said, a mocking smile on his lips.

"What's that one?" Kurogane picked a star at random, hoping to get Fai out of his mood.

It worked. When Fai saw the star that Kurogane picked, his smile changed to one of genuine mirth.

"Oh, Kuro-pin, that's Sirius, it the dog star. Kuro-woof woof found _his _star!"

Kurogane made a show of being irritated, but he wasn't really. Instead he was trying to memorize the moment, the fist time he had ever actually _seen_ Fai.


	8. Chapter 7: The Invasion

**The Invasion…**

DISCLAIMER: If I owned it, why would I right Fan Fics about it?

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Introducing Tomoyo! Who is Kurogane's stepsister and boss. Didn't really have an idea for this one, then I was pondering what would happen if and when Fai met Kurogane's family. And the only family he has close by is Tomoyo.

There weren't a lot of seventeen year olds like Kurogane's stepsister. Most seventeen year olds did not run their own successful company. Most had not graduated college with a duel degree in fashion and business. And most certainly did not have an approximate I.Q. of between145-150. (It varied test to test.)

However if they did, you would probably expect them to be having discussions with Stephen Hawking about theoretical string theory and its implications on the existence of dark energy, or some such. Not doing this.

Tomoyo had a look of utter glee on her face. She was eagerly awaiting the return of Kurogane's blond idiot boy friend to the room. She had taken one look at Fai, and immediately come up with twenty things she had to dress him in, and at least twenty more outfits that she had to design for him. But then Kurogane supposed that that was why she owned Piffle Designs Inc.

The door to Tomoyo's private dressing room burst open. Fai strode in and did a twirl, showing off his outfit.

"What do you think, Kuro-rinta?" he asked, and his gaze fixed on his lover.

Kurogane thought that Fai looked…well gay. The flamboyant, effeminate ' why yes, I am the uke' kind of gay. He was wearing some monstrosity Tomoyo insisted was actually an outfit for men. It consisted of a tight, white shirt with blue sleeves from Tomoyo's new Tsubasa line. There was an image of a feather on the chest. And also a pair of tight blue jeans that flared at the bottom.

"Oh my God! Fai, you look absolutely adorable. I knew that blue would bring out your eyes! I bet my idiot brother here loves it too, even though he won't say so."

"I'm a security guard, I'm not supposed to have an opinion on this, I'm supposed to look scary." Kurogane answered in a disinterested tone.

"Whatever you say, Kurogane. Fai come here! I want to do something with your hair, and then take some pictures. I really think that you should consider modeling, you're prettier than half the _girls _here…"

Kurogane was trapped in what could perhaps be called his own personal hell. He was sitting in his sister's office, being forced to take part in her private fashion show, with his moronic boyfriend as the model. His only Fai free area had been invaded. About the only thing that could make this worse would be if she decided that Kurogane and Fai needed _matching_ outfits.

And the whole situation was the result of a lunchbox, one that had been 'accidentally' left on Fai's kitchen table.

Kurogane had spent the night at Fai's. It had not really been planned, they'd gone out the evening prior, and Fai's home had been closer when they had really needed a bed. And Kurogane had to admit, there was something nice about waking up to find his clothes washed and neatly folded at the end of the bed. And then to have Fai bring him breakfast. The blond had even made him lunch, and packed it neatly into a Hello Kitty lunch box. (Kurogane was beyond even asking why a twenty-two year old man had such a thing. This was _Fai_ after all.) One Kurogane 'forgot' on Fai's Kitchen table.

And that was the end of it. Or, in any normal story it would be. But no, this story had Fai D. Fluorite as one of the dramatis personae. Fai had made the drive all the way to Piffle Designs. He was very lucky that the guard on duty at the gate was Kurogane's friend, Souma, who had seen a photo of him before. (Kurogane had a very tiny little picture of Fai in his wallet. One everyone knew about, while he pretended didn't exist.) And thus, by sheer, dumb luck, had gotten in when he shouldn't have.

Fai had apparently asked where Kurogane was, and been told he was with Tomoyo, and where her office was. Except Fai couldn't follow directions to save his life. He had wandered around in every direction but the way to Tomoyo's office. Then once again, dumb luck had intervened. He had walked right into Tomoyo, as he rounded a corner.

_He_ hadn't recognized her, and had asked if she knew the way to the president's office. _She_ had recognized him and been instantly struck by his beauty, and potential as a human doll.

Thus the situation had resolved itself to this. Names exchanged, Tomoyo had begged to be allowed to dress Fai up. Fai had agreed, but only on the condition that he got to first bring 'Kuro-muffin' his lunch. And Tomoyo had been gracious enough to pull said guard off duty, so that he might eat his lunch and enjoy the fashion show.

"Fai, I want to get one of you and Kurogane together. You are such a cute couple! Sit in his lap, or something."

"He is not sitting on my lap!"

Click.

Too late. Fai had pounced on him and Tomoyo snapped the picture before the words even left Kurogane's mouth.

"Get the hell off me!" he roared. Fai danced out of the way, as Kurogane swiped at him.

"Kuro-chu should be nicer to me." Fai admonished.

"Whatever. And at least don't call me that in front of my sister."

"But it's cute, 'Kuro-chu'." Tomoyo said, giggling.

"I absolutely love you!" Fai exclaimed. "Kuro-bu, why did you ever take so long to introduce us?"

Kurogane glowered at Fai. " I planned to, but I was afraid some thing like this would happen."

"Don't listen to him, Fai. Come on, I want to see you in the next one." Tomoyo prompted.

Fai scooted back out of the room to change again. Kurogane noticed then that his sister was staring at him.

"What?" he growled.

"You really like him, don't you?" Tomoyo asked.

"What makes you think that?" Kurogane asked sullenly.

Tomoyo watched him a moment, thinking about her answer.

"It's all the little things. You ate that lunch he brought you, for instance. The brother I know wouldn't touch anything in a Hello Kitty lunch box. You let him brush up against you earlier, when you thought no one would notice. And, you smiled when you saw him."

"I did not!" Kurogane howled.

"I think it was subconscious." She answered.

Kurogane thought about this a moment. Had he…? Well, it wasn't his fault! If that idiot weren't so damn cute, he wouldn't have to smile at him.

"I'm happy for you." She stated simply.

Fai abruptly pranced back into the room. Kurogane braced himself for whatever else Tomoyo had decided to shove him into.

And his jaw almost dropped.

Five months together, and he had never seen Fai dressed quite like _this._

He was wearing a suit, or Kurogane guessed you would call it that. It did involve a pair of long black dress pants and a jacket. But the cut fit his form so well; you would swear it had been _made_ for him. He wore a dress shirt underneath the jacket, and a pair of silver feather cuff links, the mark of Tomoyo's brand. And God, he looked _anything_ but feminine. Kurogane decided that he instantly liked this better than all the girly things Tomoyo had previously put Fai into.

"Try not to drool, Kuro-wolf. Hyuuu- I think he likes it!"

This comment from Fai alerted Kurogane to the fact he had indeed been staring. He heard a giggle from Tomoyo, as his face turned red.

"I guess you'll just have to keep that one Fai, you look _brilliant _in it." She said. Kurogane thought 'brilliant' might be an understatement.

Tomoyo leaned into her brother's ear a moment, to whisper, "You'll have to take him someplace nice, so he can wear it."

Yes, Kurogane thought he would.


	9. Chapter 8: Shin Dig

**Shin Dig**

**DISCLAIMER:** Trust me, if I wrote Tsubasa you would defiantly know it.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **If you know were I got the name then you're amazing. If you don't, I still love you for reading my fic. And now, the return of Fai in the suit…

"I love champagne!" Fai exclaimed, delicately holding the long stemmed glass in his fingers. He wore the empty idiotic grim that meant he was very close to drunk.

"Yes, and you told me that three glasses ago." Said Kurogane, who was standing next to Fai. The blond laughed lightly.

Kurogane looked at Fai, he really was torn. It was early December, and Tomoyo was hosting a Holiday Gala. One Kurogane had been 'invited' to; though in truth he had no choice but to come. And he had brought Fai. Which meant two things:

(1) Fai had been drinking, since it was impossible for that man to be in a room with booze and not drink it.

(2) Fai was in _that _suit again

See his dilemma? Part of him wanted to be annoyed and complain about Fai drinking. Part of him just wanted to stare at how gorgeous he looked. (Ok, maybe he wanted to do more than _just _stare.)

"But I still love champagne, Kuro-pon! It's bubbly." Fai was clearly getting closer to drunk, since he seemed proud of himself for his logic. Really, champagne is bubbly, who would ever guess?

Kurogane overall did not enjoy fancy parties, or in this case 'galas'. A lot of standing around in a room full of strangers and having to be polite to people, not his thing at all. But having Fai prancing around in that suit Tomoyo had given him was making him enjoy it so much more. Hell, if the guy weren't drinking, Kurogane might even call it bearable. _Might. _

"Hyuu! Kuro-chan, I'm going to go find a bathroom, stay here and be good puppy, all right?" He leaned over and gave Kurogane one of the small kisses on the cheek he grumbled at so much. Grumbled at, but he never once told him not to do it.

Damn, the only thing making this somewhat bearable had just walked off! Kurogane carefully glared at anyone nearby. The only people he was speaking to where Tomoyo, Fai, and a sort list of others who would not be deterred by his looks. Everyone else could stay the hell away.

A few uneventful minutes passed. Fai was taking a while. Kurogane was just about to wander off to look for him, when…

" Well, fancy seeing you here, big boy. Don't strike me much as one for social settings." A dry chuckle met his ears.

He turned, to see the last person he wanted to, after the week of hell he had spent in her employ. But there she was, Yuko. She was all in a deep shade of purple, her dress tight, neck line showing off far too much. Kurogane though there was something odd about her appearance, until he realized she was without here customary feline.

"Why the hell are you here?"

"I stand by my assessment that you aren't very bright. I was invited, of course." She answered.

"Who would ever invite _you_ anywhere?" Kurogane snapped in his annoyance.

"Why, he's one of your sisters investors, you might know him, Clow. I can introduce you if you like."

"No!" he snarled.

"Well, my, my, my! We are very rude! I hope Fai is able to teach you some of his exemplary manners."

'Exemplary manners?' Were they even discussing the same person?

"Where is our darling Fai, anyway? I saw you and came over because I though he'd be with you."

Shit! He had just been thinking about how long Fai'd been gone, when this bitch had shown up. And now he had wasted another few minutes talking to her. He began to walk off.

"You just get worse every second! You do know about manners, don't you?" the woman called after him.

"Shut up! I've got to find Fai."

Yuko's brow wrinkled, as she started to follow. "You mean you actually don't know where he is? You let him wander off when he's drunk?" Kurogane was about to question how she knew that, when she gave him a look, "Its _Fai, _this is a party_._"

"Yes. And now I have to find him, so go away."

Yuko looked sour, them went off in the opposite direction. "You will find me after you find him, yes?" she called back at him.

Kurogane had a weird feeling about this. It wasn't like Fai to miss a chance to hang onto his arm and be annoying. Not that he was worried, or anything like that, but…ok, maybe he was a bit. Not a lot. Fai could take care of himself. He had probably just gotten distracted and was having a conversation with an armchair, another two glasses of champagne under his belt.

Yeah, clearly, Kurogane was overreacting. In fact, he should be getting pissed at how long Fai was taking. That's right, he had wandered off and not come back. Obnoxious…

"Nooo…I-I'm afraid that I'm here with someone, erm…"

"Come on, I'm just being friendly."

"Please…just, I want to go now…"

Was that Fai's voice? And wait was that _Fai_? And who the fuck was that guy? There was some short, burly guy giving Fai attention that he obviously didn't want. Fai looked flushed, and his eyes were glazed in a way to suggest he did indeed have two more glasses of champagne under his belt. At least. More importantly, he looked in no condition to get himself out of his current situation.

"Excuse me?" Kurogane said, tapping the guy harassing Fai on the shoulder. The guy turned, and you could tell from his face he was drunker than Yuko was half the time.

"Kuro-sama!" Fai said with relief.

"Just whose boyfriend do you think your bothering?"

The short guy just stared drunkenly, as if his brain couldn't process the question.

Well, Kurogane would be glad to help him get the point.

He clenched his fist, before driving it into the guy's face.

Fai woke up the next morning in his own bed with a familiar splitting headache and no clear recollection of the previous nights events.

"Drink this, take these." A deep voice commanded him.

"Kuro-rin?" he slurred. A cup of black coffee was shoved into his hands, and two aspirin.

"So, how you feeling?"

"Brilliant." Fai said, chuckling weakly.

He drank the coffee in silence a few minutes.

"Why do I feel like I missed something important?" Fai asked. "What happened last night? My memory is kind of foggy."

Kurogane didn't answer. He couldn't believe that Fai had forgotten _all _of the previous night.

"Nothing much." He finally answered. "Some pervert just tried to rape you, so I had to kick his ass."

"What?" Fai winced, as he jerked his head too quickly.

"You heard me, bastard. Tomoyo is not happy, I can tell you that. Can't you take care of yourself once in a while?"

"Why would I need to do that when I have my knight in shining armour, Kuro-sexy to protect me?" Fai asked.

Kurogane glowered. First he was a dog, now a knight? How the hell did this idiot's brain come up with this stuff? He had a horrible thought. If he were the knight, did that make Fai the princess? Good that was a bad mental image, Fai in a princess dress!

Though, when Fai kissed him, and purred something about thanking his knight properly, Kurogane supposed he really didn't mind the name. _Much._

**END NOTE: **don't like it nearly as much, now that it's written, whatever. I'll post it any way, till I write the next one.


	10. Chapter 9: We Interrupt Your Programing

**We Interrupt Your Regularly **

**Scheduled Programming…**

**DISCLAIMER:** When my plan for world domination pans out, _then_ I'll own them. And I won't share. Till then, Clamp's.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: ** Hello people! Bit of explanation, between 'The Invasion, and 'Shin Dig', about two months passed. This one's set in March, so they've been together ten months. And yes, I glossed over Valentine's Day; you can hate me for it. Just couldn't think of anything good.

Fai was cleaning out Kurogane's fridge. As he did so, he was complaining that the man did not have any actual _food._ Sure, there were eggs and milk and bread. But the milk looked expired, and excluding the above listed items and a case of beer, the fridge was practically empty.

" Hyuu- I never realized that you ate so badly, Kuro-kichi!" Fai exclaimed.

"You've been over before." Kurogane mumbled back.

"Yes, but we usually eat out, or at my place, or I bring something to cook. I've not really gotten the chance to go through your fridge before."

Fai 'hyuued' again as he continued picking over the fridges contents, "I'm sorry, Kuro-run, but you will not continue eating like this! I'm going to make sure you get a proper diet."

Kurogane groaned. He had just been trying to be nice, and now Fai was in his house, examining the contents of his refrigerator. And for whatever reason, he had _invited_ him here. When the hell had that seemed like a good idea?

Oh, that's right. Let's have a flashback to explain things, shall we?

_Three weeks prior: _

They were at the zoo. Kurogane was actually on a date at the zoo. Well, not so much a date as he was spending his day off with Fai. And they had been driving, when Fai had caught sight of the sign for the local zoo. Being the over grown ten year old he was, he had pointed excitedly, and begged to be taken.

"No way, I am not spending my day off there!" Kurogane had growled.

Crocodile tears welled up in the corners of Fai's eyes_, _a fake sob escaping his lips. " But Kuro-koi, I thought you wanted me to be happy? I though that you cared about me! And here you were lying the whole time! What, are you just using me for the sex?" more fake sobs. "I can't believe that Kuro-pervert would…"

Kurogane interrupted the melodrama. "Shut up, you're giving me a headache, idiot. If I take you to the stupid zoo, will you be quiet?"

"Yay! I knew that Kuro-pu cared about me!" Fai cheered when he got his way.

"Besides," Kurogane added with a smirk, "the sex isn't all _that _good."

Fai stuck his tongue out childishly, "Kuro-meanie."

Kurogane chuckled, enjoying his small revenge. He pulled into the parking lot.

Soon they had gotten in line to buy tickets behind all the families with small children who usually frequented the zoo. Fai was typically glued to Kurogane's arm. The little girl in front of them looked up at the two tall men, and waved. Fai gave her a warm smile back. Kurogane glared at her, causing her to bury her face in her mother's pant leg.

"Kuro-bun, that was mean!" Fai scolded.

"Whatever, I hate kids." He answered.

"I don't think that's true, Kuro-cutie. Anyway, I love kids. I want to be a mommy, someday."

"You do realize that won't work, right?"

"Hmmm? Kuro-Kuro doesn't think I'd make a good mommy? How mean!" Fai whined. "I think he'd be an excellent daddy!"

"You know what I…" Kurogane looked at Fai's expression. The idiot was playing dumb on propose, and he wasn't in the mood for it. "Forget it."

The day, if it wasn't completely unbearable, was somewhat hellish. Fai continued with his ten year old impression, running around, and squealing at the various animals, and generally driving his lover insane. He made a show of pointing out the similarities between Kurogane and the gorillas. This comment was not much appreciated.

Overall, however, it wasn't that bad. Fai clapping in excitement at the animals was kind of cute. He loved the tigers, for example. And really, spending the day with his beautiful boyfriend at the zoo wasn't torture. It was actually…nice.

Wait, 'nice.' Kurogane had to wonder when he had come to like this guy so much that being at the zoo became 'nice.' That anything became 'nice.' He didn't do 'nice.' He didn't like 'nice.' And he defiantly, defiantly did not…

Oh what the hell. Who was he fooling anymore?

"Kuro-gorgeous, I want some ice cream!" Fai said as they passed an ice cream cart.

"Buy your own damned ice cream." Kurogane told him. "Besides, it's not even spring, it's too cold for ice cream."

"But Kuro-chi is the one who took me on a date. He should get the ice cream."

Five minutes and one temper tantrum latter, Fai had a double scoop chocolate covered waffle cone of chocolate peanut-butter fudge ripple ice cream. And yes, Kurogane had paid for it. Kurogane had one scoop. Vanilla. In a cup. And yes, it was too sweet.

They found a bench and sat down. Fai, of course, snuggled up to the taller man's side.

"My Kuro-bun is sooo nice to me." Fai cooed.

"I am not." He got in answer.

"Yes you are. You buy me presents, and take me were I want to go, and you can be very romantic, if you put your mind to it."

"I am not."

"But you were very, very romantic on Valentine's Day." Fai giggled.

"I was _not_." Kurogane said, but he had a feeling that he had already lost the argument.

"Whatever you say, Kuro-wan."

They were quiet a moment, but of course, it was against Fai's nature to let things stay silent for long.

"I was meaning to ask you, Kuro-love, do you know were I can find any cheap apartments."

"Hmm? Why?"

"Well, the rent is about to go up where I am. I don't think I can cover it. So it's either get another job, or move."

"Nope, don't know any." Kurogane said flatly. Honestly, why was it his problem?

Of course, he could always…

No. He wasn't going to follow that line of thought. It was probably what Fai wanted. And he was not giving in on _that._

"My apartments kind of big."

Ok. So maybe he was going to give in. No, he wasn't giving in; it was his own idea, _not_ Fai's.

"What do you mean?" Fai asked.

"Just saying, my place could fit two people, and we could get a bigger bed, so that would work out. Plus, we would each pay half the rent so it's cheaper, and…"

He stopped, seeing the grin on Fai's face. That grin meant trouble.

"I'm only saying this because it would save us money, and because you need a place, and DO NOT go crazy over this…"

"Yay! My Kuro-min takes such good care of me!" With that, the blond idiot dropped his ice cream, and threw his arms around Kurogane's neck.

"You moron, do you realize how damned expensive that stupid ice cream was?" Kurogane roared.

"Yes, but I know Kuro-ron doesn't care if it's for his Fai!"

"What the hell makes you think that?"

Fai just nuzzled his head into his lover's chest and grinned.

_We now return to your regularly scheduled programming._

So, yeah. That was the reason why there were now boxes all over Kurogane's house. And why he had a blond imbecile evaluating his diet.

He sighed, as Fai continued picking over his fridge. He walked into the living room and over to his couch, now occupied by several lacey blue throw pillows, and sat down. He looked around the room. He always had kept his apartment rather stark. Now, he had floral curtains. And throw pillows. And coffee table books about the works of Georgia O'Keeffe.

He sighed again.

"What's wrong, baby?" a voice asked. He turned to see that Fai had followed him into the room. The little blond came over and sat himself down on Kurogane's lap.

"Nothing."

"No. _Something'_s wrong." Fai chirped.

"Just looking at all the crap you've done to my apartment." Kurogane answered gruffly.

Fai turned to face him. For a fraction of a second something passed through Fai's blue eyes. "But it's not yours anymore." He said.

"What the hell do you mean? Of course it's _mine_." Kurogane snarled. Really sometimes Fai said the stupidest things.

"But it isn't. It's _ours._"

Damn it. He was right.

**END NOTE:** Apparently, I include these now. Who knew? But really all I could think while writing this was "God, Kuro-pi is _whipped._" I mean Fai gets his way every damned time!


	11. Chapter 10: Hollywood Endings

**Hollywood Endings**

**DISCLAIMER: **Tsubasa is not mine. Neither is "Breakfast at Tiffany's". If you think it is, then you need to see somebody…

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Hello, dear readers! I had no ideas for this one; I only knew how it ended. Then I was walking home, thinking about the book New Moon, you know, the part were Bella and Edward watch "Romeo and Juliet" on the couch together? And this just hit me. Kuro and Fai were originally going to watch the same movie. Then I had another epiphany and thought of "Breakfast at Tiffany's". And it's such a perfect movie for Fai! He's just like Holly Golightly! If you have no idea what I'm talking about, don't worry. I'm an old movie junky.

--

The rain was pouting down around the two lovers on the television. The man clung desperately to the woman. On the couch in front of the television, Fai was snuggled up, Kurogane's arms around his waist.

"I love this part!" Fai exclaimed.

"This movie is stupid." Kurogane answered him.

"Oh, Kuro-pi just doesn't appreciate romance!"

Yes that had to be it. It wasn't that the movie was as idiotic as the guy making him watch it. It was that he couldn't appreciate romance.

Fai started quoting the lines again. He'd been doing it the whole time. This movie was apparently his 'very favorite' as he put it. A romance, god, why a romance? Did the guy even have any concept of how effeminate he was? He had dragged his boyfriend to the couch when he found this movie on television, and forced him to endure hours of this dribble.

Fai sniffled a few times, in Kurogane's arms.

"Oi, are you crying?" Kurogane asked.

"No, but I am a bit choked up. I mean it's true love! This movie is so sad, but so happy at the same time."

"That doesn't even make sense." The dark man rolled his eyes.

"Yes it does. Its bittersweet."

"Whatever."

Kurogane settled in to watch the last few minutes of the monstrosity, Fai in his arms, cuddled as close as he could get. He was nodding off by the time the credits started to roll.

Fai's noisy clapping brought him back to the present.

"Brilliant, just the greatest movie ever! Don't you think, Kuro-wanko?" Fai said as he applauded.

"No. I already told you it was stupid." Did he have to repeat every thing he said? Couldn't Fai listen, for once?

"But, Holly Golightly is my favorite character ever!"

"Why?" Kurogane grunted. "She was nothing special. She only ever partied, and was too much of a moron to name her cat."

"And here I thought that Kuro-wanwan wasn't paying attention!" Fai grinned.

"How could I not pay attention, with you asking me if I was watching every five minutes!" The idiot was always doing that. Forcing him into something, then acting surprised when he did it. It was damned obnoxious.

"Kuro-chan is so cute! Anyway, I love Holly Golightly because she's so free. She isn't tied down to anything. She just lives her life how she wants." Fai became thoughtful a moment. "I'd love to live like that."

"But, she wasn't free. Her life was totally empty, idiot. Did we watch the same movie?" Honestly, Fai could be a moron sometimes.

"Hmmm. I guess not, Kuro-koi. I suppose it's a matter of perspective."

Perspective? Perspective could go to hell, as far as Kurogane was concerned. "She didn't deal with anything. She just ran away." _Like you_.

Fai didn't say anything a moment. Then his face became wistful. "I think she was really lucky. She found true love."

"I don't believe in true love." And Kurogane didn't. It was an idiotic idea that only women, and guys so girly that they practically were women, believed in. Guys like Fai.

"I do, Kuro-tan. I didn't always. But now…I think I do."

Kurogane could have read a lot into that statement. He _could _have. But he would not be doing so.

"Well it's stupid." Kurogane instead assessed the idea as he did everything, by declaring its idiocy.

"Kuro-pyon calls everything stupid." Fai said teasingly.

"I do not. Only things that are stupid, and that movie defiantly was stupid."

"I guess that's true." Fai answered.

Wait a second, what did he just say? Had he agreed with him?

"Kuro-myu doesn't call _everything _stupid. Sometimes, he uses other words, like idiotic, moronic, and dumb, and…"

Kurogane growled dangerously, and shut him up the best way he knew. Hell, the _only _way he knew, besides pouring a margarita down Fai's throat. He put his _tongue_ down Fai's throat, and he thought it worked much better that the margarita would have. And since it did not result in drunken Fai, but did result in certain other situations, he preferred this method.

Within just a few minutes, he had Fai pinned on the couch, and things were progressing quite nicely toward those 'other situations' he'd mentioned.

Which was when the phone rang.

A mischievous look passed through Fai's eyes. Kurogane brought his gaze up to meet Fai's.

"Don't you DARE!" he said warningly.

"But Kuro-sama, it might be important." Fai answered gravely. And in one motion he shoved Kurogane aside, and leaped from the couch. Kurogane tried to grab him, but damn it if the guy wasn't ridiculously agile. Fai easily evaded him, prancing off into the kitchen for the phone.

Foreplay, and Fai would interrupt just to get the goddamned _phone. _And just to spite Kurogane. He had one twisted sense of humor.

Kurogane didn't even bother following him. Instead he turned and leaned over the back of the couch so he could see Fai on the phone in the kitchen. He knew what Fai would do, but at this point, he didn't really care. Thinking of infuriatingly colorful ways to answer the phone was one of Fai's favorite activities. He would often answer with things like:

"Suwa residence, lady of the house speaking." in a mock feminine voice.

Or with:

"Joe's New York Pizza, today's special buy two small one toppings and get a third small cheese free." in what was meant to be a New York accent. Kurogane had thus learned why Russians really should not try to imitate New York accents.

Today, Fai opted for a simple: "Grrr! My name is Kuro-scary. What do you want?" He made sure he was facing Kurogane, so he could grin impishly at him.

Fai's eyes suddenly widened, as whoever was on the line answered him. His grin dropped completely from his face. He turned away from the Kurogane.

"Yes, this is he. Look, I can't talk right now, ok? Ummm…call later; I'll give you my cell number: _404…9…38…499…2_, got that?" Fai paused a minute as the person on the line evidently answered. "Yeah, got it. T-thanks for the call." With that, he hung up.

What the fuck had _that_ been about? Kurogane didn't think he had ever seen his lover so restrained before. He had heard whoever was on the line and become serious in no time flat.

"Who was that?" Kurogane asked. Fai faced him again, that flawlessly simulated smile back in place.

"Nobody, Kuro-san. Just an old friend. And I didn't think now was a good time to talk." That smile turned seductive as he sauntered back over to the couch. "I wanted to get back to what we were doing."

Kurogane wasn't about to be fooled.

"No," he challenged Fai, "if it was an old friend, you would have talked about twenty minutes, just out of your sick humor. Who _was_ it?"

"Kuro-pyon, truly it was no one." Fai tried to sit a top Kurogane's chest and continue their previous actions, but Kurogane wouldn't allow it. He sat up, pushing Fai off of himself.

"What was that?" he demanded again.

Fai it seemed, decided to ignore the question. "Is Kuro-sexy not in the mood anymore?"

"No." was all he would say, before stalking off in anger and irritation.

**END NOTE:** Thanks for reading, please review.


	12. Chapter 11:Quiet

**Quiet.**

**DISCLAIMER: **Are these necessary any longer? My not Clamp.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **That last chapter was extremely popular! I'm surprised, and gratified. Keep reading, and I'll keep writing! Also, a little warning, angst ahead! I mean Fai's past is coming up, for those who didn't guess. In T-1 chapter.

--

In the week following the mysterious phone call, Fai got quite a few more calls from "old friends", and "nobody". And no matter how many calls Kurogane walked in on, Fai still denied their existence and importance.

And Fai was acting… different. Kurogane couldn't help but notice, after all, he lived with the guy. I mean, this was happy-go-lucky 'nothing ever bothers me' Fai. But happy-go-lucky Fai seemed to be taking a leave of absence. True, Fai pretended that he was fine; but Kurogane was no more fooled by that than he was by Fai's smiles.

Fai had gotten quiet, an alarming kind of quiet. Kurogane had longed for silent Fai so long that he was amazed by how unsettling it actually was. This was Fai! Fai was supposed to barge into rooms, and declare at the top of his lungs: 'Martinis all around!' He was supposed to get so drunk that he passed out singing Britney Spears songs. He absolutely was not supposed to be quiet! Fai was bright and happy and dynamic; he was loud and cheerful, and he was _Fai_, god damn it!

It was in that week that Kurogane discovered a disturbing fact about himself. As much as he hated, absolutely _hated_ Fai for being so noisy and annoying, he liked him for it. (He might have said _loved, _if he were ready to confess that to himself.)

That was not the only change. Along with his new silence, Fai got very clingy. Fai had always been clingy, but that was in an 'I'm hanging on to your arm because I know that it's irritating, and infuriating _you_ is my favorite hobby!' kind of way. This was much more desperate, like he was afraid of what would happen if he let go.

Then there was that morning. The day Kurogane woke up, to find Fai wide-awake himself and simply hugging him as tightly as he could.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked softly.

"Nothing, Kuro-min." Fai lied for the hundredth time.

Kurogane bit his lip. A substantial part of him wanted to press Fai for more information. But he had already tried that, and all it had resulted in was more vehement denial, a small shouting match, and Fai actually _crying_. And hell, he did not want to repeat that.

"I have to get up now." He said instead. "Work."

"No!" Fai said with a surprising amount of force. He regained his composure, and looked up at Kurogane, head still resting on his chest. The fake smile was back, brighter and more fragile than ever. "Stay with me, just a little while."

Kurogane obliged him as long as he could, his fragile state overriding the dark man's rough nature. Until he really _was_ going to be late if he stayed any longer. After that, he still stayed a few minutes, till he was sure there was no way he was getting in on time. And then still a bit longer.

"I have to go now… Fai." He said, using his name to emphasize how serious he was. Reluctantly, Fai released him.

Kurogane showered and dressed; sighing at the thought of the triad he was likely to get from the head of security. Whatever, it was a matter of what was more important, and he had decided that _Fai_ was more important. Fai was more important, and whatever the hell the infuriating blond was trying and failing so hard to hide.

When he went into the kitchen, he discovered the usual. His breakfast was waiting, and a cheerful blond was there to eat it with him. Except that the blond wasn't truly cheerful. And when they ate, the silence wasn't filled with his usual prattle.

And then Fai did something distinctly unusual. When Kurogane rose to leave, he swiftly rounded the table and kissed him. A full passionate kiss, and it was far more desperate than any of Fai's previous actions.

When Fai pulled away, he looked up into Kurogane's red eyes. "Goodbye, Kuro-sama." He said.

Kurogane froze; there was something about the way he said that. Like he didn't mean goodbye for work. Almost like he meant…

"What the hell do you mean 'goodbye'?" He demanded.

"Well, Kuro-pipi, people usually say that when others leave." And cue empty, insincere laughter…now.

This was clearly going nowhere. Kurogane mentally cursed Fai for being so enigmatic. Why couldn't he just say what he meant, and save everyone some trouble of decoding his stupidity?

Kurogane started for the door, but was struck by a sudden thought. He looked back at Fai.

"Don't… Don't do anything stupid…all right?" he said, with astounding eloquence.

"Of course not, Kuro-kins!" And once more that hundred-watt smile graced Fai's features.

Why was Kurogane not reassured?

--

"Kurogane, if you're just going to stare of at nothing all day and worry about Fai, you should go."

Kurogane turned sharply on Souma.

"What makes you think I'm worried about him?" he snapped.

"How long have I known you?"

She had a point he hated to concede.

When he said nothing, she spoke again. "Go home. I'll cover for you." she insisted.

Kurogane did not require much more prompting before he was in his car on the highway.

--

It's four-thirty. I'm just imagining things. When I open this door, Fai's going to glomp me, and I'm going to hate it, because it's four-thirty, so he isn't at work yet. And he'll insist that we spend 'quality time' cuddling on the couch, and I'll hate it. And when he finally _does_ leave, he'll tell me to be sure to wait up for him, and wink at me, and giggle like a lovesick teenage girl. And I'll hate it.

You got that, brain?

He'll be there, and I'll hate every second of it.

Thus totally unconvinced, Kurogane opened his apartment door.

And the lights were off.

Click.

As the room brightened, Kurogane noticed many things:

The frilly throw pillows were not on his couch.

The floral curtains were gone.

He no longer had a copy of "The Works Of Georgia O'Keeffe" on his coffee table.

And most notably, he remained un-glomped.

Shit!

He might have been wrong about a few things.

In the kitchen, the fridge was no longer covered in magnets shaped like characters from various Pixar movies. The little blue note pad Fai kept by the phone to write notes, addresses, and grocery lists was missing.

Kurogane continued going though the house, and finding all traces of Fai missing. No pictures from Yuko's New Year's party. No random little post-its telling 'Kuro-pin' to 'be a good little puppy' till Fai got back. (And damn it, he had been _hoping_ for one of those. For once in his life, he _wanted _to find one.)

And finally…their own room…

He had left it for last, since it was the thing that would definitively prove whether Fai was there.

He pulled open the closet.

And not one of Fai's ridiculously girly shirts he so despised hung there.

--

Damn it!

Fucking Fai!

Fucking dumb ass idiot!

Always the center of attention, but no close friends!

Damn him!

Kurogane's mind continued on this tyriad for some time, as he drove rather aimlessly around, trying to think of where Fai might go. Of who might know were he was.

But, of course, Fai didn't get close to people. And Kurogane could not ever think of having been introduced to one friend of his. He simply did not have any.

There were only two people in the whole city that Fai was close to, at all.

One was driving this car, and the other…

He really did not want to end up asking.

However, with no other options, he was forced to start driving toward Yuko's house.

When he arrived, Yuko was lounging on her fount porch, taking slow drags from the cigarette in her hand. She wore an airy, royal blue summer dress, and held a glass of what looked like iced-tea, but probably contained at least one shot of alcohol. As Kurogane's car slowly pulled into her driveway, she fixed her eyes on the tall man. They did not leave him, as he stepped out and walked towards her.

One of the toy poodles at Yuko's feet began yapping.

"Quiet, Maro." She stared at the man before her. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" she enquired.

Kurogane was not about to mince words.

"Where is he, bitch!" he snarled.

"So he did it today?" she muttered.

"You knew! What the hell, you knew he was going to do this? Why didn't you say anything? Oh, by the way, Fai's planning on running away, or did it just slip…"

"You want to be quiet now…" she cut through his rant, "if you want to know were he is."

She gave him a harsh glare before continuing. "I _know _were he is, and you do not have a lot of time. Now, he made me promise him that I wouldn't tell you where he was going. And I feel slightly guilty at the thought of breaking that promise."

Kurogane scoffed, as if that woman felt _guilt._

"However, I am not going to break it, only bend it…and first, I want something from you."

Of all times! God, she had no sense of propriety. Whatever, he was not about to be picky, Fai was god knew where, and there was evidently a time sensitive element to the situation. Any help was better than none.

"What do you want?"

"Not much…" he'd heard that _before_, "a promise."

Kurogane was taken aback by that…a promise?

"I do not think you realize how deeply I care for that man. When you hear a bit more of his story, I think you'll understand." She paused again, as if for effect, "Promise me, that you won't let him go, and that you'll make him tell you."

"Tell me what?"

Yuko's glared at him again. "You know perfectly well _what._ Make him tell you his story, if you care for him at all. Because he won't tell you of his own will and you need to hear it."

"Fine I promise, where the hell is he?"

When Yuko answered, he suddenly understood _why_ he was running out of time. Because it was already six o'clock, were he needed to be was a forty-five minute drive. And he had to be there by six-twenty.

**END NOTE: **READ ME: "The Execution of All Things".This fic is really original; do not shy away because it's character death! It's under my favorites.


	13. Chapter 12: 6:20pm

**6:20 pm**

**DISCLAIMER: **Wouldn't it be funny if I had my name legally changed to Clamp, just so I didn't have to write these? Well, till then, I'm not Clamp.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Sorry! Internet has been out! I wrote this on Thursday, and haven't been able to post! Sorry!! Also, I kind of lied, I _thought _that Fai's past would be this chapter. It's the next one. Gets longer when I write it, sometimes.

Kurogane was fairly certain that he broke every established traffic law at least twice in his rush to get to Fai. He ran every red light he came to. He drove ninety in a forty-five zone, a thirty-five zone, even a twenty-five zone. Basically, he drove ninety, and sometimes faster. It was an absolute miracle that the cops never showed up. Though, if he had to guess, someone probably took down his license plate once or twice.

Really, can you blame him for it? I mean traffic laws be damned, Fai had just run away. _Fai,_ who now that he was gone, Kurogane was beginning to realize he was very attached to. He almost hated himself for it. He was Kurogane Suwa_._ Kurogane Suwa broke hearts; he didn't get attached to anyone. And others sure as hell didn't break his heart.

Except the second he realized that Fai was about to walk out on him forever, he had wanted him back, and felt a crushing, almost physically painful loss. Clearly, he was a bit more than just attached.

Thus, he was speeding as fast as he could manage to Fai's location, and in acute danger of having his license revoked.

When he did arrive, he parked illegally in the passenger pick-up zone and got out of his car. It was now six-twenty exactly, and he realized the flaw in his hasty plan. The airport was huge, and the only thing he knew about the flight that Fai was on was that it was a six-twenty flight to _somewhere_. He did not know what flight, what terminal, where it was going. He only had what little information he did because Fai had accidentally let the time slip to Yuko, but caught himself before giving any thing else away. Damn it, why did Fai have to be so careful?

Why did Fai have to run away?

Why did Fai have to make him care so much?

There was the sound of several planes swooping overhead. The display on Kurogane's watch now read six twenty-one.

Too late.

"DAMN IT! FUCK! THAT STUPID LITTLE BASTARD! GODDAMN IT!" Kurogane roared.

And yes, everyone within hearing range stared at him. It was very intimidating, a guy who was easily six foot six, standing in the middle of the passenger pick-up area of the airport, cursing at the top of his lungs.

A car behind him honked loudly.

GET THE HELL OUT OF THE ROAD!" the driver yelled.

"FUCK OFF!"

"Kuro-sama?" a small tentative voice drifted over to him.

Kurogane turned.

There was Fai, sitting on one of the stone benches, luggage piled around him.

"Fai." Kurogane exhaled quietly. He walked over to where Fai sat, unsure whether he wanted more to scream at the blond for his stupidity, or embrace him. So instead, he didn't do anything, just stared at him.

"What are you doing here?" Fai asked.

"You were leaving." He said simply.

"So? That's my choice isn't it?"

"You were _running_." Kurogane stressed the word.

"Again, my choice. In any case, why should it matter to you?"

Kurogane had to think about that. He had been so caught up in getting to Fai in time; he hadn't really stopped to think up a reason. And other than that he wanted, no _needed_ Fai, he wasn't ever sure he had one.

"Why the hell do I need a reason? I want you here." He growled in typical Kurogane fashion.

"That's just like you, Kurogane. Things are because they are, with you. I need more of a reason than that." Fai said softly.

"A reason, you need a _reason_ for me to want you here? Fine, I care about you. I care about what happens to you, I…"

"But you don't." Fai interrupted, "You never have. I've never been sure why you keep me around. Never been sure why you let me get away with half of what I do. But it's not because you care. No one ever would. Especially not someone like you."

"What the hell is this shit? You can't presume to know what I feel! Why the hell wouldn't I care about you?"

"You were never very affectionate, Kurogane, and you were always sure to tell me what a bother I was. That would be a pretty strange way to show someone you care." Fai gave a hollow chuckle.

"But I do…"

"Please stop lying."

"I'm not fucking lying!"

"Just _stop_…"

"Shut up and listen to me! I do care about you moron! I LOVE YOU!"

He bellowed the last bit, so once again everyone within hearing stared at the intimidating, six foot, now clearly identified as gay, man. One woman looked grievously offended, and got up to leave.

Kurogane himself was startled. Of all the things he had meant to say to Fai that was not even on the list. He had meant to tell him off for leaving, to tell him off for hiding things, to tell him off for putting words in his mouth. He hadn't ever meant to say that, certainly, but once he did he had to acknowledge the truth of the statement.

The shock registered on Fai's face. His eyes widened before he dropped his gaze to the ground in front of him. "You can't mean that."

"But I do." Kurogane answered, "Stop thinking you know everything, idiot."

Fai raised his face again, tears slowly making their way down his cheeks. "You're not supposed to mean that. I thought that if I left, even if I didn't want to, it would be ok, you would forget me, and it wouldn't matter that I had gotten attached…" he sobbed slightly. "Damn it, Kurogane."

"Then don't go." Kurogane answered. "For that matter, why are you still here?"

"I couldn't do it. I tried, but I just couldn't make myself get on that flight. Almost considered going back. Of course, now I have to leave."

Kurogane was about to demand what kind of twisted sense that made, when the offended woman returned. Followed closely by security.

"Excuse me, sir, is this man harassing you?" the security guard asked.

Fai looked up at Kurogane. "No." he shook his head.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you either to leave, or to come with me." The guard directed this statement to Kurogane.

"You're coming with me." He said to Fai.

"No, Kurogane, I can't." Fai shook his head again, as the tears gradually rolled down his cheeks.

"Yes you can."

"Sir…" the guard prompted.

"Shut up, I'll go, but not without _him_." Kurogane snapped.

"Sir, if I have to, you can be forcibly removed from the premises."

"Come with me." Kurogane repeated.

The security guard reached warningly for his walkie-talkie. "Sir, this is the last time I'll say it."

"It's ok. I'll go, I'll go." The blond man agreed, reluctance clear in his voice. "But you'll regret coming for me later."

Kurogane snorted, "Why would I?"

Fai simply sighed.

"When we get home, you're telling me everything." Kurogane added.

"I know, I owe you that much. But that's why you'll regret this. Once you hear _that_ story, you'll probably buy me tickets somewhere."

**END NOTE:** Please review. Tell me if I've kept them all in character. And, did you all read xxxHolic? Watanuki is gay! Officially (Ok, almost offically, but that comment he made to Doumeki...)! Greatest Chapter since 104! (Thank you to the lovely ladies of clamp for single handedly breaking my brain! I mean TWO boy/boy pairings at once!)


	14. Chapter 13:Shadows

Shadows

**Shadows**

**DISCLAIMER:** Still just little old me. Not Clamp, and frankly if you think _I'm_ Shakespeare…

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **It's here! I now proudly present the idea that inspired this whole fic, my version of Fai's past. If anyone is still reading this crappy story, I hope you enjoy!

"If we shadows have offended, think but this, and all is mended-

_That you have but slumb'red here, whilst these visions did appear._

And this weak and idle theme, no more yielding but a dream…"

**-A Midsummer Night's Dream-**

"Sit." Kurogane commanded him. And frankly Fai could see how very upset he was, and wasn't about to challenge him.

So, he sat.

"Talk."

"Oh, Kuro-rin, if only it were that simple." Fai muttered.

Kurogane keened across the kitchen table towards him. "What's complicated about that?" he asked. "You tell me everything. Starting with why you ran away."

"It was simple, at one point, but then you complicated things nicely. It was _very_ simple, I would leave, and you would forget me. Then you had to go and come after me, and say something like that."

"I'm not going to forget you ever. And I meant what I said."

"I know. That's what complicates things."

Kurogane was going to ask how the hell that made any sense, when Fai spoke again. "It complicates things, because once you hear this there's no way you'll ever want to see me again. The thing I've done…no one could love me, if they knew."

He stared at Kurogane, and Kurogane stared back. It was clear from the look in his eyes that he wasn't backing down. But then, Kurogane didn't back down from things. Once he committed to something, he stood stubbornly behind it.

"Kurogane, listen. I'm going to say this straight off. When you…when I tell you, you're going to hate me…"

Kurogane scoffed at that. As if anything would ever make him hate _Fai._

"…And I wanted to say that it's fine. I've learned better than to be bothered by those sorts of things."

"It's not fine. I'm not going to hate you. Whatever you did."

"You should wait until you hear the story before you decide."

"Then _tell_ the damned thing!" Kurogane shouted.

"Alright, but you'll make the first person to hear it, start to finish."

He inhaled deeply them began.

"I was born in Celes, Russia, back during the U.S.S.R. It's in the north. There is always snow there, all year round. My parents, they were good people. My Father worked in a Factory, for the government. I can't remember what they made I was too young. My mother was a teacher… literature. She was so beautiful, from what I remember. She had the loveliest eyes. People used to say my brother and I had her eyes.

"I…I'm a twin you see." He paused, as if preparing himself for what he would next say. "I had a twin brother named…Fai."

"What the hell? That doesn't make any…"

"It will Kurogane, I promise it will.

"The government was so strict. It was hard for everyone, but especially someone like my mother, someone creative. You could always tell she hated the way they censored books. She never said so, you would be crazy to say so, but you could tell. She loved books, all books. So she had her secret books. Ones from America, and Europe, books that were banned in Russia; now that I look back on it, she probably got them off the black market. My brother and I knew better than to mention them.

"I've never known exactly what happened. But the government found out, somehow. They came and searched the house; once they found my mother's collection they left.

"She…she never came home that night.

"I don't know what my father did to get us out of the country, but I don't think it was anything legal…"

"We were in America within the next six month's. My father got some low wage job. We were alone a lot of the time. We didn't know any English, so we didn't go to school. He did the best he could though, and usually found someone to watch us.

"Of course, then he started drinking. Heavily. Didn't you ever wonder were I learned it from?"

"That's not funny." Kurogane growled.

"I know." Fai sighed.

"We were left alone a lot more then. Even when he was around, he was drunk. He said my brother and I were his greatest misfortune. Started blaming us for what had happened. Then…" he gave Kurogane an odd desperate look.

"Do I have to keep going? I'm sorry I ran, I wouldn't do it again. Just…I don't want you to hate me." He said suddenly, pleading.

"I won't, so keep going."

Fai stared at him a moment, before continuing.

"All I ever wanted to do was to take care of Fai. I was seven, I… how was I supposed to know how to cook? But Fai was hungry, and I didn't know when dad was coming home. So I tried to make something.

Fai had to stop and breathe deeply a moment.

"By the time they got there, the building was on fire. I was in the kitchen, by the door. But Fai, he was in an inner room…they couldn't get to him in time. The fire blocked their way.

"They tried to ask me about what had happened, but it didn't take long for then to figure out that I couldn't understand them. So they brought in a guy to translate for me. A cop. The first thing they asked me was my name. I don't know why, but I told them Fai. I was probably in shock; I mean I had just killed my own brother. And we were twins, so they just accepted it. No one could tell the difference between us, my father especially. So they thought that I was the one who died.

"They buried him under my name. So I guess legally I'm dead. Because I can go and visit the grave of a person who looks exactly like me, under the name of Yuui Fluorite."

Kurogane wasn't sure how he was supposed to react to this. It was…unsettling to say the least. I mean Fai's name wasn't Fai, it was Yuui, he had a twin brother, now deceased, and he blamed himself for all of. He once again experienced the confusing urge to either scream at Fai or hug him. So once again, he didn't do anything. Neither did Fai. He looked like he might stop talking then, and Kurogane did not want that.

"What happened to you?" he asked awkwardly.

"The cop, the translator. He was nice enough to let me stay with him the first few nights. He was… kind. His name was Ashura, and he was half Japanese, half Russian. Spoke both fluently. You've noticed I know some random Japanese phrases? I picked those up from him. He said that he always wanted a son; he ended up as my foster father.

"That was probably the closest my life ever got to normal. We…went fishing, he taught me the names of the stares he knew. That was when I decided that I would be an astronomer when I grew up. I went to school, I learned English, as I said normal.

"Kurogane, this starts to sound kind of insane now…just listen. I had lived with Ashura something like seven years when his department suddenly got a lead on a case they thought went cold years ago. A…a serial murder case. Ashura was put on the investigating team, since he had made detective by then. This guy, the killer, he was very careful. No pattern in the victims, no evidence left behind. At least, that's what they thought, till they found the print.

"They thought that it was contaminated evidence at first. The print, the person it matched there was just no way… none. But, the more they looked into it they realized that that was impossible. There was no contamination. So that left the other option. That, it actually was…and everything else fit too… How he had always been just ahead of the cops, how well he could hide evidence.

"The most normal part of my childhood, the most normal. And I spent it living with a serial killer. I sat there completely oblivious, when that was going on right behind my back. They tried to prosecute Ashura, but he ran. No one knows were he is, now.

"That left me thirteen, and in state custody again. Foster care. But no one adopts kids over ten, really. You just stay in the system. I was pretty bad then, drinking…other things too. It was pretty easy to get were I was. By the time I was fifteen I was onto hard stuff. Sixteen, I ran away. Seventeen, I was one of the heroine junkies on the street corner. Eighteen, and I ended up in a hospital emergency room for an overdose.

"Course, once I was out, I was on the street again. Took another overdose before I ended up in a church rehab program. By twenty I had no education and no job, and that's when I met Yuko. Offered me a job, help with an apartment, no questions. She knows a little of this story, not all. Enough."

Fai abruptly stood.

"That's it, Kurogane. You'll have to drive me to the airport. My car is still there. Sorry that you had to hear all that, but you did ask." He started for the door, walking past Kurogane's chair.

Kurogane was confused; Fai was yet again about to leave. He reached out to grab Fai's hand as he passed him.

"You moron…" he said.

Fai looked down at him and gave a heartbreaking smile. "Don't feel badly, I expected this. You'll never have to see me again after this."

Kurogane didn't speak, instead he stood up, and actually did decide to hug Fai, rather than yell at him. Fai gave a bewildered squeak.

"What part of that was supposed to make me never want to see you again?" Kurogane asked him.

'But, all of it! I killed my brother, I sat by while others did awful things, I… all of it, you're meant to hate me for all of it."

"Why did I fall for such an idiot?" Kurogane muttered.

"Then you don't…?" Fai trailed off, as if he could not even imagine Kurogane liking him. Kurogane on the other hand could not ever imagine hating Fai.

"Shut up, before you say something _really_ stupid." Kurogane had an unexpected thought. "Fai…"

"Yes, Kuro-chi?" Fai murmured, his voice muffled by how he had buried his face in Kurogane's shirt.

"One last thing. The call?"

"That's why I have to go, _especially_ if you love me. I don't want anything happening to you. They, they think they saw _him."_

"Who?" but Kurogane seemed to have a decent guess about who.

"The police. They contacted me; they think that someone spotted him."

"Where?"

"In the city"

**END NOTE:** In conclusion, Fai is an alcoholic heroine-addicted commie, who's mother was killed by the government, who's brother died in a fire he accidentally set, and who spent years living with a serial killer. Meh, sill less confusing and angsty than TRC. Yeah, um, I never liked Ashura. (Bastard hurt Fai!!) Sorry to anyone who does, I kind of did a little Ashura bashing.


	15. Chapter 14: The Unsaid

**The Unsaid**

**DISCLAIMER:** For those of you who are morons …TSUBASA IS BY CLAMP! Thank you. Sorry to everyone who already knows that.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Here it is, dear readers! Sorry I made you wait. Writer's block is an _evil, evil_ thing! Though, I was hardly idle…(Points to new fics. Read them for cake?)

--

"He's not waiting outside the door to swoop down on you. Quit being so melodramatic!"

Fai gave one of his now trademark painful smiles. "But he might be…I just don't want you hurt."

Fai could be annoying. It had taken a lot from Kurogane just to convince him to stay. And now he walked around half dazed, afraid that _he _would be around the next corner.

"Look, our anniversary is in three days. I want you to enjoy that. So stop worrying. The police only _think_ they saw him. And even if they did, chances are he doesn't even know that you're here."

He had made the plans weeks ago, very expensive plans, plans he knew Fai would love. But then this had to go and sneak up on them.

Fai seemed far from reassured; he just smiled that artificial smile a bit more.

God, Kurogane was getting sick of this new Fai. He needed absolutely constant reassurances. Having to play the caring, reassuring lover was asking a lot of Kurogane. Affection was just not his area of expertise.

"You're an idiot if you think I'm going to let him get to you. To _either_ of us." He added the last part before Fai could once again say that he wasn't worried for _himself. _

They slipped into a lovely awkward silence. This was becoming distressingly frequent. Fai was living in continuous depression now. He claimed that his staying was going to somehow harm Kurogane. And Kurogane had had enough of it.

"Let's go someplace. You're off tonight." Kurogane said.

"Where?"

"I don't care, anyplace you want. If it'll stop you from acting like an moron."

"Anyplace?" Fai repeated. He looked a bit devious, as devious as a depressed person can. Half of Kurogane was glad he looked something other than heartbroken, and the other half was worried. If he looked like that, Fai was going to come up with somewhere very unpleasant. "So, if I said that I wanted to go to that carnival we drove past a few days ago, you would…"

Kurogane wasn't sure what Fai was expecting, from that tone. He almost sounded like he _wanted_ to be rejected. Part of Fai's whole 'you're supposed to hate me' act. And there was absolutely no way in hell he was every _going_ to hate him. So Fai would just have to get used to that fact.

"Sure, if that's what you want." It almost killed him to say it, but Fai was more important than his hatred of crowds. And sweets…and rides…and noisy children…and stupid rigged games…and overpriced tickets…

Ok, he hated pretty much everything connected with carnivals. 'Fai is more important.' he had to remind himself.

--

"Want something?"

"Hmm?" Fai responded.

"Do you want something to eat?" Kurogane repeated.

"Well, cotton candy is always nice." Fai answered.

Somehow, Kurogane had imagined Fai at a carnival differently. More energetic, more noisy, more 'Kuro-rin! Let's ride the Round up! Let's ride the Ferris wheel! Let's ride everything in this whole damn place, even thought you hate it.' Alright, maybe minus that last part, but more or less what Fai'd say. Or what he _should_ be saying.

He hated that Ashura bastard.

So he bought him cotton candy, cursing the damned, pink, sugary crap. Fai gave him a pleased little smile. Which was all wrong, because he was _supposed_ to shriek in delight, and hug him. All Kurogane got was a little smile.

He _really_ hated that Ashura bastard.

"Want some?" Fai asked, holding up the nasty sticky mass.

"How can you even eat that, it looks disgusting." Kurogane rolled his eyes.

"Oh Kurogane, you shouldn't talk about things you don't know about! If you tried it, you might like it."

That again! That name again!

"Why have you started calling me that?" Kurogane demanded rather suddenly.

"What?"

"My _name_."

"Well. What am I supposed to call you?"

"I don't know; you always used to call me weird stuff…" he trailed off. He hadn't actually liked those names, had he? He wasn't sure; all he knew was that since that night, with a few slip-ups as exceptions, Fai had called him 'Kurogane.'

And let's all welcome that awkward silence back again.

It was strange. Kurogane had imagined that learning Fai's past would somehow help their relationship. In reality, it was now all uncomfortable silences, weird looks, and that strange feeling that came from that fact one had confessed and the other had _not_. And Fai's endless insistence that he wasn't worth it, and that he was supposed to be hated.

"Can we go on something?" Fai broke the silence this time.

"Yeah, what?"

"Umm, Ferris wheel?" Fai replied questioningly.

"Sure, I don't care."

They made their way over to the ride, once again quiet. Kurogane gave the guy at the booth six tickets to get them in.

"I hope it stops at the top." Fai remarked. "I love when it does that."

And Kurogane didn't say anything.

Fai soon got his wish, when after a few revolutions, the wheel stopped with them at the very top. The view was very pretty, the lights of the other rides shining brightly.

The old Fai, at this point would have squealed, and pointed, and shouted about how very pretty the lights were. This Fai, of course, didn't do any thing. He just watched.

"I can't take this anymore! Stop doing that!" Kurogane snarled.

"Doing what?" Fai sounded genuinely confused.

"You're not _doing_ anything! That's the problem. Just walking around saying 'poor me', and 'I'm worthless, hate me'. You're not doing anything but moping."

"I'm not moping, Kurogane. I'm torn. Part of me wants to stay with here; the other part knows I'll only ever hurt you. I don't want to do that. I care about you." Fai admitted.

Kurogane had to calm himself down before he could continue. "You're hurting me now, stupid." He finally muttered. "And _don't_ walk around claiming that you care for me so much, when you can't even say it."

"Say wha…?" Fai began, but Kurogane cut him off with a particularly hash glare. 'You know perfectly well _what._' The look said.

They had been so engrossed in their conversation that Kurogane noticed upon looking up that the ride had ended. He got up in a huff, and strode off. Fai was only a step behind him. He ran forward, and snatched Kurogane's arm.

"We're going home." Kurogane murmured, pulling his arm away.

"Wait." Fai said, pulling on his arm again. Kurogane turned to see him determinedly staring at his shoes. "Do I have to say it, for it to be true?"

"No," he paused, "no, but stop playing martyr. Shit happens; we deal with it and move on. And stop worrying. I'll _die_ before I let _him_ near you."

It was hard to tell if the ensuing quiet was more or less tense than the previous ones. Neither one said a word on the way to Kurogane's car, nor when he got in and began to drive. It once again fell to Fai to break the silence.

"Kurogane?" he whispered, seeing if the other was ready to listen to him yet.

"What?" he snapped.

"Just…just because I can't… I'm not ready to say it…doesn't mean that it's not true. I just…nothing _good _has ever come about as a result of… that. Will you… I don't want to ask too much…just wait, someday I will." Fai sounded so completely pitiful when he said this; Kurogane wished he wasn't driving a car at the time. Holding him would currently result in them ploughing head first into a wall.

"Whatever," he muttered darkly. Then realizing how disapproving this sounded, he added, "I can wait. Just don't be too long about it, moron."

Fai stared a second, as the information sank in. He grinned, realizing he was forgiven.

"Ok, Kuro-sama!" Fai answered cheerfully.

"What'd you call me?"

"Kuro-sama. I thought that earlier, you said you _liked_ when I called you that."

"I did not!"

"You said you_ didn't_ like when I called you your name. So if I can't call you your name, and I can't call you nicknames, what _can _I call you? Lover-boy? Puppy-kins?"

They continued to argue, but neither was serious about it. Fai was almost acting like _Fai _again. Kurogane was beginning to think that maybe he had gotten through to him. And Fai was beginning to think that maybe, he had found someone that he could love, and not have disastrous things happen to them as a result.

Unfortunately, fate had different ideas.

**END NOTE: **Hope that was worth the wait. Next one will be sooner, I promise, by Thursday at most! Most of what Kurogane said in this was what I wanted to say to manga Fai when he went all emo during the Infinity arc. You know smack him and say 'Get over it! Yes, terrible things happened to you. Stop whining, and open your eyes to the fact that he loves you and you're worth that!'


	16. Chapter 15: Logic

**Logic**

**DISCLAIMER: **The Fan Fiction Alchemist is not Clamp.

**AUTHORS NOTE: **Dear readers, what an awful liar I am. Sorry. Well, here you go. We are coming to the end, maybe three more chapters after this. Maybe a sequel, if you all like the idea, tell me if you do.

--

Fai reflected, as they drove home.

Everything Kurogane said was logical, all of it. _Fai_ was illogical. It was, as Kurogane pointed out, illogical to be afraid. As he said, the police had an unconfirmed sighting, in the _area_. As in, in the city, not anywhere near their apartment. It was most likely a false alarm. And Kurogane was right even if it was _him, _he probably had no idea where they were. Or even that Fai was here. It was a huge city; hundreds of thousands lived in it. There was just no reason, logically, to be afraid.

And then there was the fact that even if it were that person, Kurogane had said, had _promised _to keep him away, by any necessary means, with any necessary consequences. And with Kurogane, his word was a promise.

So, they made their way home, Fai feeling somewhat reassured, at least, that Kurogane had a point. That nothing was coming to get him, and even if it did…

Feeling so _safe _was a strange thing_. _

"What?" Kurogane asked suddenly.

Fai realized he'd gone silent. "Just thinking."

"About?"

"I was thinking that you should drive faster." Fai responded slyly.

"Why?"

"Because," Fai coyly answered, "We seem to be at somewhat over this awkward argument…and make-up sex _is _always the best."

Kurogane had to stare at Fai. "Is your mind ever on _anything_ else?"

"Should it be?"

Kurogane said something under his breath. He pulled into the parking lot, ignoring the now smiling blond. However the fact Fai found himself so funny showed at least some of Kurogane's message had gotten through. And the rest of his happiness was likely an act. But whatever, with Fai even one-fourth authentic joy was a major achievement.

Fai got out first, and walked just ahead of Kurogane. At one point he decided to look over his shoulder and say, "Hurry up, Kuro-koi." Kurogane grumbled at the idiot. Though, he did have some point. Their relationship had been suffering since Fai's admission, their _entire _relationship. So he was not about to argue with Fai.

So Fai was naturally, the first into the elevator. And he made sure to be ahead again, so was the first to their door. He pulled it open a crack, and slipped inside, Kurogane following.

Now, there is a very funny thing with logic. Logic is what makes sense. But what makes sense and what occurs are often different. And in the world there is only so much logic can do. There are other forces involved.

Now fate is one of those forces. And it is often cruel, and illogical. You see, no one informed _him_ that it was illogical for him to be there. And even if they had, _he _probably wasn't going to leave, just like that.

'Oh I'm sorry vindictive-murderer, you can't be here, it's illogical.'

If only someone _had_ decided to tell _him _that, things might have come out different in the end.

_He_ had not actually cared who came through the door first. _His _reaction would have been the same, whether it was Fai or the other. He had aimed a swift blow at the side of the person's head, and pulled him into a tight hold, planning to use the person as a hostage to make the other cooperate.

So Kurogane had open the door, to the sight of a tall, wild eyed man clutching Fai, and holding a gun to his head.

His first instinct was violence. His first instinct was to kill the thing that wanted to harm his idiot blond. His first instinct was overridden by the presence of the gun, and the inherent threat it held. The acutely clear message of 'try anything, and this _will_ be fired.' Kurogane didn't like it; he was absolutely helpless to do anything for Fai.

Fai seemed to have been hit rather hard on the side of the head. There was some blood, and what would become a bruise there. He was however still conscious, and the fear was written across his face. Fear, but not fear in the manner of 'save me.' More akin to 'run, before you get hurt too.' Along the lines of a weary 'didn't I tell you that this would happen?'

"We are all going to sit down now," the man said.

"Like hell we are." Kurogane growled, though without much vehemence.

"We are," Ashura said calmly.

With no other option, Kurogane was forced to obey, closing the door behind himself, and them being ushered into his own living room. He sat down n the couch, watching that man clutching Fai with disgust. His mind was searching the room for anything a weapon, anything.

Ashura turned, and brought both himself and Fai to sit on the chair nearby. He held Kurogane with a clear gaze.

"Why the hell don't you just fucking kill us?" Kurogane asked.

"Kill you? I hardly mean to do that." Ashura answered, arching a delicate brow. "Well, not Fai, in any case."

**END NOTE: **Here it is, far too short, and a very unpleasant cliffhanger. I don't like it very much. But hey, next chapter is the resolution of this little conflict. I swear, won't take me three weeks!


	17. Chapter16:Fairy Tales and Real Life

**Fairy Tales And Real Life**

**DISCLAIMER:** If it were mine, certain people would NOT be certain other people's mothers. Seriously Clamp, you ask us to accept a lot…

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Here it is, no more waiting. And I really love you guys, I had to type this whole thing twice!

--

Ashura had complete control of the situation. Kurogane hated to admit it, but he did. And if he wanted to get them both out of this, alive, Kurogane was going to have to be calm, and not overreact, as he was apt to do. He had to look at things logically.

Why? Why did Ashura have control was the question. He was calm, for one thing. And he was armed, something neither of them was. But Kurogane wasn't scared of a gun. He'd had guns pointed at him before. Only the gun _wasn't _pointed at him. It was pointed at Fai. And that was really how Ashura had control. Because he would be damned before he tried anything with Fai in danger. And Fai sure as hell didn't seem to be fighting back, not that Kurogane could blame him. He looked as though he was in pain.

That was it. He had to get control. Which meant eliminating one thing: the gun. Or rather, the factor of who the gun was aimed at. So he either had to make Ashura put down the gun, and that he considered unlikely, or get him to point it at something else. Namely, Kurogane himself. But, as he couldn't imagine that Ashura would find him threatening enough to do so, he supposed his only option was to keep him talking.

"Why the hell are you here, if you don't mean to kill us?"

"My, my! Whatever have you been saying about me, Fai? It would seem you've been telling people that I'm some sort of cold blooded murderer!"

"You are," Fai managed defiantly.

"Ooh? Really Fai! I am not a good person. I'm the first to say it. But surely, I was only ever kind to you! Am I nearly as bad as you make out?" With that, Ashura began to sweetly store Fai's cheek with his other hand. That is, the hand that wasn't holding a gun to his head. (1)

"Yes," he hissed. Clearly the wound to his head was tender.

"Now Fai, if I'm a murderer love, then whatever are you?" Ashura smiled, slightly. Kurogane was beginning to doubt his sanity. And he was paying Fai far too much attention. He needed Ashura to focus on him.

"Hey, you haven't answered my Fucking question yet." Kurogane growled.

"Oh, yes _that. _Why I'm here. In good time," he returned to petting Fai's cheek. It was sickening to watch, almost too much for Kurogane to sit through. That anyone was touching _his_ Fai like that.

"No, I want to know." Kurogane pressed, hoping he wasn't insisting too much.

"No! You do not get to make demands. I'm here for Fai, you are an after thought." Ashura told him, "Now Fai, shouldn't you treat me better? After I came all this way to see you."

"No," Fai spat vehemently.

Ashura's smile disappeared, as he dug his nails into Fai's cheek, drawing blood. He seemed to consider this, a moment, before whipping his blood covered fingers on Fai's shirt. Any doubts that Kurogane had had about his sanity were gone. He was simply and utterly insane.

A low growled from Kurogane alerted Ashura to his anger.

"Protective, are we? Protective of my little murderer? Or does he know, Fai? About your brother?" Ashura had returned to stroking Fai, and now blood was trailing down Fai's cheek. "Answer me!" he snapped when Fai did not reply, once again leaving scratches on Fai's skin.

"I know, and I don't care!" Kurogane said, doing his best to remain calmly seated. Ashura brought his gaze back to Kurogane.

"But, do you? What story did you tell him, Fai? Was it the one you first gave us, or the one the evidence told us?"

Kurogane did not like where the conversation was going. The bastard was almost implying that Fai was still lying to him. And they had gotten past that, hadn't they? He looked at Fai, who dropped his eyes.

Shit! "Fai?" Kurogane asked.

"I'm…I'm sorry."

"Ah! So we haven't told him? Not very trusting of your lover, Fai. I may assume that this is you lover, yes? You always seemed like you would turn out that way as a child." Ashura smiled.

"No, please." Fai muttered, pitifully.

"Fai!" Kurogane yelled. "What the hell is he saying?"

"Kuro-chan…"

"Kuro-chan, how cute! May I take the liberty of informing _Kuro-chan _of the truth, them? Since you clearly have no intent to do so." Ashura asked, sounding giddy at the prospect. "Well, Kuro-chan, I'll assume that you had the story that we did about his twin Yuui's death. The one about being left alone to cook? You will answer, by the way, nicely, with a yes or a no. I'm sure the consequences of not doing so are easily apparent."

"Yes," Kurogane growled.

"And you believed it? You believed him, this pure sociopath, this compulsive liar? You can't believe a word he says! How old were you then six? And you lied so convincingly! No conscience, at six!" Ashura continued petting Fai.

"We believed him at first. No reasons not to, why would a child so young lie about that? He left out something though, the first hole in that little story. He told us his father drank, but left out the abuse. Had a black eye when we found him, and lots of older scars. Pity to see such a pretty thing with bruises." Ashura paused to gaze at Fai a moment.

"Well, the second hole came latter. The fire didn't start at the stovetop, like he said it did. No, as far as we could see, the origin was a pad of matches that had been lit and thrown into the kitchen trashcan.

"The third hole was the clincher! The brother's body, Yuui, was covered in bruises that seemed to have been inflicted just prior to death. He beat him, badly. But our little murderer took care of that, right? Only, you didn't count on Yuui dying too, did you?

They didn't charge him, too young, far too young. And in the end, not enough evidence. But you did it, didn't you Fai? My little murderer. I found him fascinating. No remorse, clear conscience, at that age. I managed to get custody. Wasn't hard, upstanding cop like me! On the condition, of course that he got the proper psychiatric help. And I got you that, right Fai? I was always good to you, always."

Fai didn't say a word, just stared at the ground.

"Fai?" Kurogane said more insistently.

"Kuro-pon, I…" he gasped.

"What the hell?" Kurogane howled, "Who do you fucking think you are? Saying that about him! Such an obvious lie!"

"No, Kuro…it's true" Fai sighed.

"That's right, my dear little murderer! All true. And now, I've come all this way to ask a favor of you. Your father wants a favor. You won't turn me down, now will you Fai?" when Fai was again silent, he began digging into the socket of his left eye. "Will you?"

"No," Fai gasped. Kurogane was forcing himself to stay sitting.

"Leave him the hell alone!" Kurogane snarled.

"You are not part of this!" Ashura turned the gun on him abruptly. When Kurogane had visibly calmed, he aimed once more at Fai. "You don't even care to know why I came t see you?"

Fai said nothing. The blood was dripping lethargically down his face.

"Fai," Ashura warned. He pressed his fingers once more to the flesh. Kurogane began to rise. The gun was immediately trained in him, and it stayed there. "Sit," Ashura ordered, not looking up.

"No." Fai croaked.

Ashura's smile vanished, as he started to burrow his fingers again into Fai's eye.

"Ahhh! Kuro!" Fai yelped.

Then it was fuck the plans. Fuck the gun. Fuck all of it. He was not going to sit there and watch _that._ He would not see Fai hurt, whatever lies he had told, or was still telling. _Nothing _was going to do that, and get away with it. So Kurogane immediately leapt from his seat, and tackled Ashura. Fai fell limp to the ground, blood gushing from the place his eye should have been.

And in the next moment, there were two gunshots.

--

(1) I have a very strong mental image of this, Ashura in a chair, holding Fai in his lap, stocking his left cheek, while holding a gun to his right temple. If any one has any artistic skill, and lots of time, and it isn't too much trouble, do you mind drawing it?

**END NOTE: **Ku ku ku ku! Yes I am evil! I replace a cliffhanger with a worse cliffhanger! Well, I guarantee an update on Friday, as that's my next free day! Don't hate me for this thing, honestly, it took on a life of it's own while I was writing it! I didn't even know that Fai was still lying, until I wrote it! And the discrepancies will be explained! Fai's not a murderer!


	18. Chapter 17: Blame

**Blame **

**DISCLAIMER:** If it were mine, then the gorram plot would make sense!

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** All right folks! Here you go, no cliffhanger! Oh, and while my mind is on it, I've got a poll on my profile, so you can vote on whether you want a sequel. Or I might just continue writing this indefinitely.

**-**-

The first thing that Fai was aware of was that voice. Deep and resonant, and sounding quite annoyed, as it was apt to be. There was another voice too. He thought that he might know that one as well. A softer voice, a sly drawling voice that seemed anxious, something he could never recall it being. He wasn't actually sure if the first voice was angry at the second, or just in general.

"Kuro-sama," Fai mumbled, eyes still closed.

"What, is he awake?" the deep voice said, concern evident.

"Talking in his sleep, maybe," the other voice contradicted.

Fai slipped away again.

--

There was talking again. Less vague, he could actually tell what they were saying now. And he could tell who was speaking.

"No," said a stubborn voice, Kurogane, of course.

"You were hurt, too. Kurogane, he'll still be here tomorrow. Fai wouldn't blame you for going home to sleep," the voice was a different one than the one from before. It sounded like Kurogane's sister.

"No," Kurogane answered.

Tomoyo sighed, "Alright, I know you're worried, but try and get some sleep. I'm coming back tomorrow, with _food. _I'm going to make sure you eat, at least."

"Hmm," Kurogane grunted in response.

Fai could hear footsteps, and the sound of a door opening.

"Kurogane? He'll be ok,"

There was silence, then the sound of a door closing a moment later. Fai stirred slightly. He tried to open his eyes, but discovered the left one was being held shut. That was when he felt something large and warm cover one of his hands. It took a moment for him to register what it was, Kurogane's _hand._

"Kuro?" Fai said, realizing how odd his own voice sounded.

"Fai?" the voice was anxious.

Fai opened the one eye he could, and turned his head slightly. Thankfully Kurogane was on his right side. "Kuro, why…" he began.

"Shut up and sleep." The warm voice told him. And whether he wanted to take the advice or not, exhaustion forced him to.

--

Fai had been heavily drugged, so it took him a while to regain consciousness. He continued to slip in and out for a while, and was barely coherent for the time he was awake. When he was finally fully awake, he discovered some interesting things about his situation.

He appeared to be in a hospital bed, lying on those not-quite-soft sheets, wearing one of those awful lose gowns that really served no purpose in hiding anything. He also found that his left eye was covered in some kind of cloth. He tried to bring a hand up to his face, and inspect it, but his progress was impeded by something. He looked down. IV lines.

He considered these things. His mind was foggy still from the medication, but he soon enough recalled _why _his eye should be bandaged, and almost regretted wondering. His next though, not seconds behind was fear. He looked frantically around the room.

And Kurogane was asleep, in a rather uncomfortable position in a chair, pulled very close to Fai's bed. He sighed in his relief.

"Kurogane," he muttered aloud to himself.

Red eyes snapped open instantly at the sound of his voice. Kurogane was a slept lightly, and being in a chair only served to make to make him a more fitful sleeper.

"Fai?" he asked.

"Morning, Kuro." Fai answered. He smiled, but was inwardly afraid; Kurogane knew everything now. How would he react? "Kuro, I…"

"Are you hungry?" Kurogane grunted, trying to sound unconcerned, and not doing a good job of it.

Fai was taken aback, "A bit." That was a lie he realized once he said it. "Famished," he amended. No more of those.

"I'll get you something." Kurogane started to rise, "I'm going to tell the doctors that you're up, so they'll be in soon." Fai noticed that Kurogane was holding one of his arms to his chest in an odd manner, but reframed from commenting.

He waited for Kurogane, growing more nervous with each second. He knew that Kurogane had promised him once that he would never hate him, but knew he knew _everything. _And he did seem to be acting somewhat…cold.

"Oi!" Kurogane said when he reentered the room, carrying a tray. "Chicken, looks mostly edible." Carrying a tray in his left hand, his right was still clutched to his chest. Fai caught sight of bandages.

"Kuro-pi, what happened to your arm?" he asked, though he could already guess. He had gotten him hurt. He had stayed, and it had hurt Kurogane, like he had said it would.

Kurogane had opened his mouth to reply, but things have ways of occurring at inappropriate times, and that was the moment that the nurse decided to enter the room. Soon followed by a doctor. And through all the ensuing questions and tests, Kurogane simply _loomed _in the corner wordlessly. Fai watched him, wondering what could be running through his head.

They left, eventually- it had taken them long enough- and the two were once again alone. Fai was lost completely for words, an unusual position for him to be in. And Kurogane was stoic as always, just watching him from his place in that chair.

"Your arm," Fai said, a statement, not a question. He could guess well enough what had happened, even if he had not witnessed it. And he was acutely aware of were the blame lay.

"Bastard _shot _me," Kurogane said.

_Shot? _Fai's mind flooded with confused emotions, as he sat up in bed. Kurogane had been shot, because of him.

"Kuro-chan?" he didn't hide his worry. It seemed that one-word responses were becoming a trend in the conversation.

"Grazed my arm, not serious."

Fai remembered suddenly some of what Tomoyo had said before, "Did you…see a doctor about it?"

"It's _fine._" Kurogane snarled. He had been giving that answer a lot in the last few days, and was sick of it. "Besides, like I was _going_ anywhere."He added that as almost an afterthought.

Fai drooped his face, feeling tears fill his eyes, _eye_ for the first time in a very long while. He was not the type to show his emotions easily, half the time _he _didn't know what he was really feeling. If you pretend to be happy long enough and hard enough, eventually you forget you're pretending. So the fact that he had broken down to crying, actually crying, not the fake tears he shed at sappy romances…

"I… You need to take care of yourself. Kuro-pon, I'm not worth this, I…"

"Oi!" Kurogane nearly shouted. He used his hand to pull Fai's chin up and look into his eye. Fai sniffled, tears still running down his face. "Stop. I told you before to stop playing the martyr. And stop blaming yourself for what happened. It wasn't your…"

"No!" Fai actually _did_ shout, "It _was _my fault. You got hurt, and it was my fault. If it weren't for me, he would have never come anywhere near you! You wouldn't have gotten shot, you wouldn't be sitting here instead of seeing a doctor. You shouldn't have to worry about me! I'm a liar, I'm no good to anybody," he was almost whispering the last part.

"Shut up! I worry about you, because you're too busy feeling worthless to do it yourself. And I don't regret _anything. _Yeah, you lied, you're probably still lying. But I don't care!" Kurogane was shaking, Fai noticed. "And he hurt _you_ more than he ever hurt me. Goddamn it! I don't ever want to see you like that again."

Fai gasped, as Kurogane suddenly wrapped his good arm around him, almost crushing him with the force of the embrace. Kurogane had wanted to do that since the moment that Fai had woken up, but had been resisting the urge to throw himself at Fai and hold him, simply to remind himself that he still _could._ That he had come that close to losing him. "So just shut up. If all you can talk about is how all this is your fault, and try to convince me to hate you, and blame yourself for all the stuff that other people have done to _you…_shut up."

"Done…to me?" Fai said, hesitantly returning the embrace. "He wasn't lying, Kuro-rin. All of that was true." Maybe, Kurogane didn't understand that? Maybe he didn't believe it? "I did everything he said I did, and I lied to you about it. I'm a …murderer. I'm just like _him._"

"You idiot," Kurogane breathed as he reluctantly pulled away to look at Fai's face again. "I killed him. I took the gun, and I shot him, because he was hurting you. He was trying to kill you, so I protected you."

"Ashura is dead?" Fai slowly allowed the knowledge to seep in.

"Am I a murderer?"

Fai was overwhelmed; he couldn't help but burrow his head into Kurogane's warm chest. "No, of course not, Kuro-tan! You did that… for me? You saved me? Am I worth that much to you?"

"Yes," Kurogane gave him a single word as an answer. And it didn't seem that more was necessary. "So, how the hell are you a murderer for trying to protect the person you cared about? What you did wasn't right…but I don't think it was _wrong._"

Fai simply sat there, in the same position several minutes. He wasn't sure what to do anymore. He only knew that Kurogane would wait for him, and forgive him. At last he let a smile spread across his face. "What did I ever do to deserve someone so wonderful?"

"It's not about deserving things." Kurogane responded to the  
rhetorical question.

"I'm tired Kuro-chu. Sleep with me." Fai said, as his conscious darkened again, the result of doing too much at once.

Kurogane didn't grumble as he laid them both down on the far too small bed, carefully making sure that he avoided Fai's IV and his own injury. This made for very uncomfortable, but _comforting _sleeping conditions.

"Kuro-sama?"

"Uh-huh?"

Fai bit his lip, "_Thank you._ And I…um…I'm pretty sure that I l-love you."

"Idiot." Kurogane sighed, "I love you too."

--

**END NOTE: **Fai p.o.v. Interesting. I knew that this moment had to be Fai p.o.v. But I'm not sure how I feel about writing it. This is my longest ever Fai p.o.v. piece, and honestly, his head is one depressing place to be! I like Kuro-bun's head much better! God, Fai needs therapy!

Please review me! 


	19. Chapter 18: Names

**Names**

**DISCLAIMER:** I'm CLAMP! (Not) I said it, now what's going to happen to me?

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **I thank all my dear readers, your support is what made this my first long fic have 130+ reviews and 8000+ hits so far! I love you all! I will keep writing this, and my new story, I've decided, we'll see how well that goes!

--

Kurogane woke up to find himself noticeably without his blonde sleeping companion. A fact he did not enjoy in the slightest. Fai had fallen asleep the night before halfway on top of him, and he'd never say so, but that was his favorite sleeping position.

Kurogane was about to grudgingly go off in search of the now half blind idiot when said idiot decided to make a sudden appearance. He still _did_ rush to Fai's side however, when he noticed he was carrying something. Fai's depth perception was off, naturally, so carrying things was not something he was very good at.

"What are you doing?"

"I can mange, Kuro-koi, I'm not completely blind!" Fai smiled. "I wanted to make breakfast for you!"

"You weren't _cooking _were you? Idiot, you could hurt yourself, you can't judge distances!" Kurogane sat down on the bed, bringing Fai with him.

Fai laughed, and pointed at the tray. "I can still make waffles in the toaster oven, Kuro-sama. And believe it or not, pour orange juice. Things are _harder,_ not impossible. And I'm getting used to it, after such a long time. Not to mention, the rehab."

Kurogane saw that indeed breakfast consisted entirely of things that only required appliances to cook, rather than the stove.

"Though, overprotective Kuro-mon is very cute," Fai gave him a peck on the check, as a reward for being 'cute.' Kurogane growled. He still had an image to maintain. "Come on, let's eat."

Kurogane sat back in his previous position on the bed, Fai snuggling happily into the crook of his arm. Kurogane studied him, the look on his face. The eye not covered up seemed to have a genuine look of contentment in it. He was glad he could give Fai that, even if that was all. For all that he knew Fai barely trusted him, he knew it wasn't his fault. If his own past was half that horrendous, he wouldn't know what to do, much the less be able to function at an almost normal level. (Almost normal. _Fai_ could never, ever be called fully normal.)

Kurogane wrapped his arm around Fai shoulders a bit more tightly, noting as Fai gave a little sigh.

"What's the matter?"

"Hmm?" Fai asked, "Oh, nothing Kuro-koi."

"NO," Kurogane answered, "You sighed. People don't sigh when everything is alright." He gave Fai a look, his eyes saying what he would not voice: _No lies. You've already done more than enough damage by lying to me. _

"People also sigh when they're _happy_, Kuro-pon."

"You sighed because you're happy?" Kurogane asked, skeptically.

"Kuro-chi still sees through me," Fai evaded the question.

"That isn't an answer."

"Be patient," Fai begged him, "I've been lying for so long, it's hard to remember to tell the truth, sometimes."

"I'll bet. Still not an answer, are you happy with me?"

Fai seemed surprised. "I think the question changed a bit at some point, Kuro-wan!"

"Well whatever," Kurogane responded, feeling his cheeks redden a bit in embarrassment. That was indeed a different, far more caring question. And, he cared about the moron; he was _his _moronic, blonde imbecile. He just wasn't one to shout it from the rooftops, or declare his undying love in front of everyone he knew. Or ask that kind of question. "Whatever, that's the question I'm asking now."

"Well, of course I'm happy with you, Kuro-tan! You love me, even if you get self-conscious about saying so all the time! And, that means…a lot. Just a whole lot." Fai got very quiet toward the end of the sentence, leaving the other to read the part he left unsaid from the silence.

"But," Kurogane prompted, knowing Fai there was some catch.

"But…its odd."

Kurogane stared at him, hoping Fai would continue, but he could see that what he was about to say whatever it was, was painful, and he didn't want to risk pushing Fai. He'd over think it then, evade the conversation, and that would be another step backwards. That was how Fai was, and it was damn frustrating! For each and every step forwards, there were three backwards!

"I feel like I've lost myself."

"What kind of stupid…" Kurogane began, and then stopped himself. "What's that supposed to _mean_?"

"Well, I've always been Fai, but I've never actually _been _Fai. It was my brother's name, and it always has been. I only took it, so I wouldn't forget the things I'd done. My sins."

Kurogane refrained from telling him that he hadn't done anything wrong, rather had things done to him. If Fai didn't get it by know, he wasn't going to.

"But, I thought no one could love me, if they knew. And here you are, saying you'd love me no matter what, if I was a Nazi, a Yakuza, a vampire, you'd love me just the same."

He felt rather smug. Maybe he was getting through somewhat to Fai, if he had realized that.

"So, I think that maybe, what I did wasn't so terrible, that maybe it wasn't so wrong. If somebody can still love me, in spite of it," Fai paused, and inhaled softly. "And so, I think I can give him back his name, since I don't need it any longer. Its Fai's name, anyway.

"Only, if I do that, who am I?"

"You could be Yuui again," Kurogane offered.

"No, Yuui died that day, same as Fai did. I haven't been Yuui in a long time."

The words just hung there, around them, as neither knew how to continue. Kurogane mussed. Of all the stupid things, he though, this was pretty high on the list. "Why is a name so important?" He growled.

"Kuro-pyon wouldn't understand, would he?" Fai chuckled. "My name is who I am, how I define myself. It's me. And, I don't know me anymore, so how can I call myself anything?"

"If names are so damned important, why do you insist on mutilating mine?"

"But, it shows how I define Kuro-rinta," Fai beamed.

"You define me as a 'rinta'? What the hells that even mean?"

"No," Fai answered, "I define you as somebody I love, very much. And I show it by giving you all kinds of cute names!"

Fai squealed, as the now forgotten breakfast tray was shoved from Kurogane's lap, and he found himself pinned on the bed.

"Kuro-sama is _frisky!_" Fai giggled. Kurogane opted to ignore the comment, kissing him instead.

"Can't you still be Fai?"

"Hmm?" Fai sounded confused.

"Not your brother, _you_. You lived with that name, you made it your name, not his. Can't he have his name, and you just happen to have the same one?"

"I just don't feel like Fai D. Fluorite any more," he said.

Kurogane mumbled something, in which only the word 'Suwa' was audible.

"Kuro, I can't hear you."

"Nothing," he muttered, and tried to kiss Fai again. But Fai turned his head to the side, to avoid it. Kurogane simply took the opportunity to kiss his neck, so Fai shoved against his chest.

"No, now I want to know what you're thinking," Fai scolded, "You made me tell you." '

"It's stupid, it wouldn't even work."

"Kuor-myu," he whined.

"No, I didn't even plan to say that!" Kurogane growled back. He wasn't going to budge. As he said before, he wasn't one to bellow it out from the rooftops 'I am in love with FAI!' Though he apparently _was_ the sort, he had discovered, with what he'd just said. He didn't even know why he'd said it!

"Tell, me please?"

Kurogane _felt _his face go red, felt his embarrassment. Though, at that point he looked down at Fai, blond hair spread beautifully across the pillows, lovely pale skin flushed. He decided then, maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to ask.

"I said, why do you have to be Fai D. Fluorite," he had to breath a moment, calm his nerves. "Can't you be Fai D. Suwa?"

"Did," Fai gasped, as he understood, "did you just propose, Kuro-pu?"

Kurogane himself had to think about it. Had he, really…?

"Um, yeah, I think so."


End file.
